JS Love

New blog

2008-09-29T23:59:00.000-07:00

Wun update here oredi.

New bloglink : http://the-one-and-only-sasy.blogspot.com/

IN GOLD COAST BLOGGING! =X

2008-09-26T20:35:00.000-07:00

I am currently in Gold Coast blogging. The time now is 10.06 pm..and Singapore time now is 8.06pm. Juz chatted wif ms piggie on msn..duno y but I miss her so much! hehe.

Daddy and Mummy onli started their naggings after my dad got home from work the day we are supposed to fly to Australia (23rd night) and it totally ruined my mood. But surprisingly, my daddy offered to send us to the airport and my mummi came along to see us off too. :) Miss piggie had wanted to come along to see us off but she fell asleep! ==" Aniwae,kinda expected. lol. Yup, then when we were heading for the departure hall, my mummi was still giving loads of last minute instructions, some of which was pretty common sense. lol. My mum asked my dad, "animore u wana tell them?" My dad looked at us and said with a sheepish look, "bring ur mummi along" haha. Then in the departure hall we went. Turned our heads to locate our parents, but onli found my dad. Char waved back at my dad who totally juz refused to wave back. LOL. Where's our mum?? Our eyes searched for her and there she was! Standing right infront and waving frantically at us. Haha..such a cute sight. At that moment..just started to miss her so much. Endearing sight. She made it seem like she will never see us for a long period of time. haha. And off to Brisbane! 7 hours+ flight journey~

At Brisbane, upon reaching, met up with the travel agent who sent us off to our hotel which was 1 and a half hours from the airport.

The weather's cool here..you hardly perpsire at all. So nice to shop in such a weather. We are staying in Islander Resorts and I guess cuz we are near the sea (Surfers Paradise), it can get freaking cold here at times cuz of the wind! And oh my god, the sea here is wonderful! I juz love the sand so so so so so so much! Very very soft and me and Char juz walked barefooted on the sandy beach! You can see birds flying around, and if I am not wrong, they are called seagulls? :X I wish I can juz stay here..ahha...the life here is relaxing. :) But..tmr night gonna go home oredi! *NOOOOOO* Wanted to extend one more day to sit on the cruise ship and view the 100% guaranteed sight of whales and dolphins..but I guess it would be pretty troublesome and then again it would cost us more $$$. Afterall the cost of living is so much higher here too! The meals are damn expensive. Not forgetting to mention the hotel buffet breakfast we are supposed to have during our stay here is eggy! Lots of eggs, sausages, potato, ham..eating that for 2 days and kinda getting sick of it. Skipping our last day's breakfast tomorrow to eat wadever that we had bought from the supermarket.

So far so good. And it was reali more like a free and easy tour rather than a guided tour. In fact..we are not guided at all! Luckily, its is easy to free and easy here. A ting I have learnt about the traffic lights here. Green man = GO, within a few seconds, the red man blinks = Complete your crossing.. Red man = STOP. lol..the red man blinking got us a little blurred at the start.( to cross or not to cross? )And they are so open here! The names of the shop eg "Condom Kingdom" and advertisements such as "want longer lasting s3x? Call xxxx" and "Erection problems? Call xxxx" lol..

Juz now the Americans living nearby are making so much noise and disturbing our beauty sleep! RAWRR! And Charlene tot they were gays cuz she had seen them kissing each other == One of them asked us before I stepped into the lift.." Erm...do you girls...happen to like...boys?" == wad a qn. Aniwae we juz walked into the lift as it was here.

Arrghhh time is running out. Shall blog more when I am back!

那句话。。

2008-09-22T11:28:00.000-07:00

180908 Thursday

好几个星期没见到你
你终于上线了
无奈的心很想生你的气
气你忘了我
气你没抽出时间上线
但我却忍不住
还是对你说
看到你
我今晚好开心！
因为看到了你
我忘了一切
我只知道什么是快乐幸福的感觉

你下线之前
叫我把你忘了
说了一些想气我的话
但有一句话
足够我想了一整夜
我越想我越怕
只能默默希望它不是事实

190908 Friday

平常地去上班
那句话不停的浮现在脑海里
我告诉自己
这只是我猜的
下了班就回家
但你忘了上线

200908 Saturday + 210908 Sunday

早上起床突然很想听张惠妹和周惠的歌
那句话又浮现在脑海里
听着听着
想着想着
如果一切是如我想的
怎么办?

晚上你上线了
问我是否有话要跟你说
我好想问又不想问
我害怕那会是事实
但是我还是问了
你终于说出了
那真的是事实
好残忍的事实
心仿佛被几千刀刺了似的
痛死了
我不想接受那个事实
很不想

世界就是那么的不公平
我到底哪里比不上她
我到底哪里负出的爱不比她多
没有吧
只能怪我只能属于你网上世界的人
一个你能够不上线就把我给忘掉的人
我能拿什么跟她比?
现实跟网上
我是输定了

能陪你度过一辈子的人不是我
那个走下红地毯的画面仿佛在嘲笑我有多傻
心好痛。。
我怎么会陷得那么深?
你怎么说的那么洒脱?

我只能逼自己接受事实
一夜内我失去了" 爱人 "
一夜内我失去了一个我珍惜的朋友
一夜内我失去了依靠

泪不停地往下流
我说不出祝福你的话
她好莘福。。

你说我们还是朋友
你许下的你我约定真的好久
可能到时你已忘了我的存在

谢谢你陪我度过了两次的生日
谢谢你的甜蜜
谢谢你给我的那段喜怒哀乐的回忆
谢谢你在我低落的时候给我安慰，意见
谢谢你爱过我

叶心瑜这个名称不再属于我
但我永远是你认识的那个笨到可爱的女生
不要忘了我
一辈子的朋友。。。。

Randomness :)

2008-09-18T21:49:00.000-07:00

Gonna blog random tings that happened the past few days.

1) On my wae home wif the interns, (we normally take mrt to Dohby Ghaut to change northeast line), the mrt route will be Raffles place --> City Hall --> Dohby Ghaut. Then we were talking while the train moved on. Was wondering y the train has not stopped for quite a while, and the next moment I turned my head, we were at Dohby Ghaut oredi. The train did not stop at City Hall. lol. Then the driver made announcement, " To those who wanted to stop at City Hall, sorry, ...er...cuz ...here is Dohby Ghaut already.." lols. Funny leh. 1st time got such an error.

2) Recently, was talking wif dazey in our bedroom. I was about to fall asleep while talking to her and she started singing. Then I heard a male voice coming from in our room. The voice said, "Shuddup" oO" I did not mention anyting, then dazey asked," Did you hear that?" So I wasnt dreaming. That voice was real. And it sounded so near us. ==" When there is no guys in our room ==

Very early morning a few days ago, Char was downstairs alone wif Happy, doing her project when Happy started barking. Happy walked out of his cage and stared at something in the balcony and barked continuously. Then a while later, Happy changed position and Char went to comfort Happy. Then Happy started to stare at something behind Char and continued to bark. x.x" Obviously there was something there which Char did not dare turn around to c. But she was a very brave girl cuz she still continued doing her project downstairs. ==" She said that Happy tends to bark alot especially during 1-3 am. And it so happened Eileen's bf who has ying yang yan, had seen the couple ghosts in our balcony that day. ==

The days that I saw the "woman" and heard the keyboard typing sound, I will never forget. The times when the fan turned on automatically which scared the daylights out of my sis, I will never forget too. But I guess, we have noting to b afraid of, and in the first place, they are the ones intruding our privacy. Yea, we musn't b afraid of them.

3) Went to People's Park Complex again. Paid the balance for our Gold Coast Trip and exchanged the money into Australian dollars. Xin Hao Tong when I saw the balance in my bank account :( Yea, the trip is confirmed. After the clock strikes 12 am, which is 24th Sept, we would be in the aeroplane, waiting to leave Singapore for Gold Coast....Wun b a long trip though. Will touch down in Singapore on Sunday 28th Sept 5+ am..

Tomorrow is the last day at work before I go on my holiday cuz Monday and Tuesday I will be on leave, at home =] Hope to c dear....Realli miss him lots...haven seen him for quite some time oredi..

Pleasant surprise to c dear's tags. Glad he still bothers to come in here. Do take good care of yourself too dear..hee..Missed your "naggings" =X <3 you too dear. hope to talk to you soon...=[

[[ 9.49 pm ]]
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Seeing you makes mi feel comforted, knowing that you still remember me.
Talking to you I feel happi, cuz I reali missed you so much.

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Onli you can bring my moods to the extremes. Within 1 minute..happiness turns into sadness.

[[ 11.59pm ]]

Japan Trip's a gonner..

2008-09-14T23:59:00.000-07:00

This afternoon called the travel agency cuz they din get back to us on the supposed itinery they are to finalise for us == They were supposed to call us back and give us a satisfactory itinery wif no extra money added arbo a full refund of wad I have paid, since it was no fault of ours that we couldnt fly on the 23rd as planned. They came up wif all sorts of reasons, saying a family backed out cuz the father was in hospital?? Then another one told mi someone changed the date of flying cuz they heard the weather was not going to be good and blahblah. == I tink, should be they not enuf ppl to form a group bah. Juz tell us the truth luh! == Promised to call us back, asked us to give them time and they din even have the courteousy to get back to us. Damn pissed wif them. Still have to call them today onli to hear them sae they couldnt work out an itinery wif no extra topping up of money, so they would refund us the money instead. Just one week more to departure and u tell us such tings? Wadde???

Its not we are trying to be difficult or wad. My sis has her school committments, I have my work committments. That was the best time for us to have our holidays. Aniwae, cut the story short, we demand the refund which they initially said they dun do refunds. My father was an angry man, cuz he knew how travel agencies work. He gave them a scolding, thats why they had no choice but to return us our refund. But I can onli get back the cheque 15 days later??!!

Went around asking almost all the tour agencies in Peoples Park complex. As expected, all the September bookings were closed..Haiz..finally found one suitable itinery 7 days Japan + 2 days (complimentary) Shanghai..flying on the 25th, but my sis cant make it. She needs to be back before 30th..Haiz..Japan Trip's a gonner..Was so excited about buying tings from Japan. I juz love their products. lol..My colleague was nice enuf to lend mi a book of Japanese words, wif English translations from the library. Now I dun nid it oredi..

Finally settled down for Gold Coast. More expensive than the Japan trip...Thought the itinery was not too bad, actually better than the Perth one, cuz the Perth itinery was mainly enjoying the nature and the itinery seems lesss interesting. Okay..lets hope noting goes wrong this time. == 80% confirmed the lady told mi. Once the hotel confirms, the whole trip is confirmed =] Please dun come another hiccup again == Gold Coast~ 23rd Sept =]

Life is empty without him by my side..

2008-09-13T23:59:00.000-07:00

Had the urge to spend money again unintentionally..and urgently..

When this happens..it muz be cuz I am feeling emo within..Yea..went wif my sis to Hougang Mall today. Frien had asked mi to go for a KTV session there at 2pm...so my mei accompanied mi to shop for my phone while waiting for her bf to pick her up at Hougang Mall.

Initially wanted to get Secret..

But later felt that this model looks nicer.

So din buy LG, bought a Samsung one instead. Not a necessary item though..cuz my old fone is still in good working order..

Have been spurging lots lately. Past few days have been buying loads of expensive food..the durian mooncakes, the marks and spencer cookies...reali burnt a hole in my pocket. The Japan Trip..and now the phone..

Speaking of the Japan trip..kinda sian-ed. How sway can I get? Everyting's still not finalised..and left one more week to go onli?! I for one, hate last minute changes, especially to tings that I have planned and have been looking forward to. Everyting better be finalised soon == The last minute crop ups make mi feel sian-ed. I stopped counting down. All I hope now is everyting will go on as planned ==

Looking back at all the links that dear had given mi during our msn conversations, and the games he has searched and we have played till so pek chek that night when we 2 were feeling so bored, I miss him even more..I miss the times we spend together, laughing and playing till so pek chek over that silly lame clown game. Yea it was lame..but I enjoyed it..cuz I had him by my side..enjoying every moment spent doing something together..

I wonder if he still remembers mi, still comes in to read the blog posts..kinda feeling motivationless to continue blogging...afterall this blog was written for him..written to update him about wads going on in my life..but...

I feel empty...I feel lost...I just miss him so much... [[ 12:15am ]]

LOUSY MOOD!

2008-09-08T23:59:00.000-07:00

Feeling very bu shuang bu shuang bu shuang!

I am not a spare tyre. Bored find mi. Then got people pei, throw mi aside ar? I not your entertainer..thats not wad friens r for.

And grr..I am terribly upset..people sae blame it on my bad luck. lol..no one understands that kind of feeling. it juz totally sux..totally sux!!!!!!!!!!!

Missing You..

2008-09-06T11:05:00.000-07:00

I wonder when I can see your msn pop up again.
I wonder when I can see your Porsche online again.
I tried to hide the misses.
I tried to act like I din care.
But I am juz trying to fool myself.
And the people around mi.
Cuz I am missing you so bad.

Praying for strength.

2008-09-04T20:42:00.000-07:00

Burned a hole in my pocket again! Bought a box of 4 mooncakes sold by Goodwood Park Hotel. 1 pc costs S$12?? ==" (W/O GST) so expensive..They sell durian, mango, chocolate and yam flavour. Wanted to buy durian and mango flavour but mango de sold out..

Durian mooncakes~

Bought home and shared wif my family. The taste is fabulous!

During work, Charlene called mi. She sounded like she was crying. I tot wad happened. Actually she was luffing..xiao dao yao ku de kind of state. lolz. She told mi our adorable little Happy was biting newspapers and my mum wanted to pull the newspapers out from his little mouth. And one pull, the newspapers came out of his mouth, so did one of his little tooth. LOL.

LOOK AT HIS TOOTH!

Little Happy got super fed up wif my mum and GRRRR at her. lol..even as I was taking this foto of his little tooth, little Happy locked up in his cage, looked on from behind, GRRRRing away. Hahaa..this little fella is smart. If you are luffing at him, for example at his clumsiness, he will get angry, stare at you and GRRRRR or come after you at lightning speed, wanting to bite you. Hhaa..he seems to hate my mum. I guess my mum alwiz de zhui him in some wae or another. He juz loves biting my mother. Even when my mum is sitting on the sofa, he will climb up a stool or something juz to get to my mum and bite at her legs. LOL..and that leaves my mum screaming.. Oh! Forgot to mention his tooth attracts small little red ants!

Little Happy~

About work, I am having a little phobia of handling the accounts due next week and next next week. I have lots to learn and the deadlines are so close. I haven started a single one yet. And somemore new jobs..

Oh and the mogui is back..=[ haha..the atmosphere with her around is terrible. It seems I have juz made an enemy in the office. Sorry to say this but I juz cant believe a woman wif kids and of her age is still bearing a grudge over matters like this and when everyone feels that she is the one in the wrong? Morever, I din da xiao bao gao oso, and the matter was brought up by her to the manager. Lame.

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~iNvIsIbLe~

I am a hyper girl today! :)

2008-09-01T19:28:00.000-07:00

Lol..as my blog title reads, I am feeling hyper today! But I oso duno the reason y, though I slept late last night and by right, supposed to be feeling grouchy. Probably cuz today had a reali fun time chatting wif E supervisor, teamate, intern and new intern! Haha..yea..today the new intern came in. We were scaring him about L's working style. haha..yea..the mo gui is back tmr! :( And yea. today not very productive. ahha..we kept talking and talking! F3

Hyperhyper~ tmr no chance to do wad we do today liao.lol. E says Charlene looks so sweet and oso look like the havoc kind. LOL. She oso said all 4 of us look worlds apart. Yes, the picture of the 4 of us is currently dominating my house lappy desktop and office computer desktop. ^^ Duno y I feel happi looking at the fotos :D Oh, and E told the intern to choose Eileen since they are around the same age, then I told her Eileen is attached and she asked the intern to wait for Dazey to finish her O levels. haha.

Yea, and today is one of my buddy's bdae! Happi bdae to him~ =]

Thats all for now! ^^

More fotos :D

2008-08-31T19:23:00.000-07:00

Haha..was waiting for my sis to post the photos taken wif her digicam in her blog so I can kapo! :D

Here they are, all taken from Eileen's blog. =X We juz cant stop snapping fotos of ourselves. haha.

Here's me and Eileen wanting to take a foto together in the car:D and our mum in the middle trying to make herself visible in the foto. *F3*

Foto of the Korean, the Japanese, the star and the princess:)

The four of us

Then I wanted to take a foto wif my xiaogu <-- my favourite aunty! lolz. She looks pretty wif her little curls. x333 So pulled her in to take fotos.

Another foto of us!

All these taken at the bridal studio

At san shu's house :X Charlene was the photographer..haha..isnt she pro? She made Eileen look blur in the foto

Me and princess Dazey!!

Eh Eileen, ms dazey was asking mi to pose wif her for the foto lor..then she pressed 2 x liao..but bo picture eh..then later realised she took a video of us instead lo. And y charge mi?! You should charge her! F3

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开始累了。。

Busy phototaking day! :D

2008-08-30T23:59:00.000-07:00

Today is phototaking day! :D One whole big family --> my ahma, ahgong ( zu jues ), my family, my san shu's family, my da gu's family, my xiaogu's family and my xiao shu's family is going to gather to take a big family photo to celebrate my ahma and ahgong's wedding anniversary.

In the morning, my free makeup artiste + image consultant, Ms Charlene, was a busy woman. haha..busying fussing for all the women in the house including mi. haha..tx for the free makeover session :)

Took some fotos of myself. :D

My mummi said I look like a Japanese??!! == Charlene looks like a star, Eileen looks like a Korean and Yulin looks like a princess? My buddy saw my foto and said he felt like pinching my cheeks! RAWR!

Then in the afternoon, we are off for our fototaking session in a bridal studio. The bridal studio looks damn cosy..I wish I had a shop liddat. So clean and full of bridal clothes! :X But the theme wasnt there at all! We felt "well dressed" in some sense cuz we expected our relatives, especially my favourite aunty's family to be especially well dressed. I would sae, rather disorganized theme. =[

We kept taking many many fotos with Eileen's digital camera :D cant wait to get the fotos from her. After that took the quan jia fu and individual family fotos. :D We wanted informal shots but my daddi dun wan :( And so many sideview shots! =[ The photographer bo change background de..duno how the fotos will turn out..my daddi wil be going down to choose the fotos next saturday. Hope they turn out nice!

After that all of us went to san shu's house to rot. Mi and Yulin fell aslp on the sofa..my shui xiang alwiz sibuay nan kan de la! On and off opened my eyes and once I caught eileen taking photos of us == Then mummi woke us up, say daddi wan to go Borders a while before our dinner. My favourite aunty jested," Wake up le ar?" =\ lols

After that, dropped eileen off, then my daddi and mummi go Borders, mi, Char and Yulin went Marks and Spencer! omg, I will never step into Marks animore! =[ I couldnt resist the food I saw there. They look so damn tempting luh! I juz felt like grabbing everything there..but the food is expensive too. :O

Look at wad I bought!

Costs a bomb sia. I am gonna put some in my office slowly so that I can munch when I am hungry :D

After shopping for like 10 min nia, had to go to the restaurant for dinner ler. All of them had reached liao. My favourite aunty said duno which of our relatives called us four the charlie angels. Happening time at the restaurant. lolz. Charlene got special treatment. The waitress told her " Yours is special. My manager said to give u this. It has more ingredients. " F3 Then my blur sister still din noe wad was happening. When being served the next dish, the waitress passed my sister the manager's namecard and told her to remember to call him. F3..and the manager had shyed away and walked outside. The waitress even told my mother " nevermind la hor aunti, make friens onli ma " lols. My uncle immediately jested, " ani free treats? " lol..of cuz bo la. But my sister as usual, has no interest. She cant be bothered. F3 But aniwae, my sis wasnt the one who kept the namecard, my mum kept it instead. LOL.

My xiao shu and family is flying off again. See them once in a while. The last time I saw my cousins, they were like small kids. But now, they are so tall le, and the boy is now a man! And he has grown skinnier such that we dun recognise him animore. My cousins are all so tall!

Tired. But I quite enjoyed today :) [[ 10.17pm ]]

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Everyting's changing. I am feeling redundant. Appearance fools the inner feelings...Intuition kills..anione noes that feeling? lol.

A fool thats mi =]

[[Sadness]] - 1.16 AM

tired!

2008-08-28T23:59:00.000-07:00

Wahz..today I broke record. Stayed in office finishing up my work until 10.30pm. Wasnt exactly productive but I managed to finish doing the payroll reports for my supervisor to review. Haha..in the end I still did the one subsidiary payroll report that my supervisor said she would help me on, myself. =] Tomorrow need to rush the fund requests after my supervisor and manager have reviewed the work.

Guess wad? Manager heard about wad happened yesterday. haha..c wad I mean by da xiao bao gao? So fast news travel into his ears oredi. He came to talk to mi and my original supervisor, E. E told him about my deadlines clashing and how difficult it is to meet the demands of that supervisor, L. Well, manager said wadever L said was reali uncalled for and he would have a talk wif her to ensure this would not happen again. But anihow, he had mentioned way back then that there will be a reshuffling of jobs. And he told mi that he can take mi out from L's care and work under another colleague, and at the same time, working under E as well. Then Angel, my teamate will take over some of my payroll jobs under L. =X since Angel had requested to work under more than one supervisor, my manager and E decided since she wans it that wae, to let her have a taste of working under L. E thought it was time for Angel to take the hard approach. However, I can foresee problems coming up between Angel and L after the reshuffling takes place, cuz both are headstrong characters. E said it is good to let Angel experience the hard approach. Then it would be good on my side too, cuz I neednt suffer under L animore and oso, I will be having more hands on on more accounting jobs. Manager told mi that he would try his best to do aniting to keep good employees and ask mi to read into that message he was trying to relay to mi. ^^

Tired mi took a cab home. Gonna claim the taxi fare =X I met another kindred spirit again. The cab driver was nice and he asked mi if I had eaten my dinner, which I hadnt. So he gave mi a packet of biscuits to munch on. (: And yea, today morning was drizzling again. And a lady offered to share umbrella wif mi again. haha..u can tell how much I dislike using an umbrella unless necessary, so unless its raining heavily and there are no underpasses or shelters around, I will be "forced" to use an umbrella!

Reaching home, my mum was there waiting for mi to come home. lol. She had left my dinner aside, so I had to eat my dinner after reaching home.

Haven seen dear for 11 days ler..where have you gone? T__T

Lousy day.

2008-08-27T22:53:00.000-07:00

Did ot until 8+pm. Wasnt reali concentrating well. Mood was lousy since morning. Felt dulan wif the other supervisor. Can expect more terrible days in store for mi to come. One payroll under her I oredi cannot tahan liao..wad more 2 more other payrolls under her? And even if I am busy, she wun bother to lend a helping hand. "Supervisor do the work more costly". Ya, I am the one supposed to do the work, but shouldnt she lend a helping hand if she sees mi struggling? Hate how the manager adds on my load. All in the busy period. Wif same deadlines???

Plus trying to adapt to that supervisor's working style, oh my tian, I still have problems adapting. SO MANY UNNECESSARY STEPS. (wan mi to do tagging <<----one set of paper can have many colourful tags , do paper casting when in the end she still uses calculator to recheck?? == Drafting email still need to print out for her ) Not that I wan to hiam but do u noe how much time it takes to complete? And I am not allowed to charge ot for this client? In fact ani payroll under her supervision, I need to ask her for permission to ot?? == And one mistake u make, she talk until so loud until whole office can hear and noe u did something wrongly == Every little bit of ting, even minor spelling mistakes, she wans you to reprint. Her work is neverending. My colleagues today all luffed at my misery. Cuz they noe how difficult she is. One of my colleague even said, "luckily i dun have ani more jobs under her. Last time I have one job under her, I even quarrelled wif her cuz I have to do so many extra unnecessary steps" She is oso famous for her "da xiao bao gao" zzz...lol..I dun expect my days ahead to be easy under her. I wish I neednt be shared between the 2 supervisors...

I need a break seriously. My the other supervisor was empathatic at least. She understands I am very stressed and very busy. She asked my other team member to help out wif the batch of disbursements that came in today. She oso said she is going to help mi out on one of my Singtel subsidiaries. Realli appreciate her for her understanding..Looking forward to my Japan trip suddenly. Cuz its during my usual busy period, I can escape abit for September. (:

I am mentally and physically tired. I noe I am complaining lots. I noe its normal. I noes its working life but I juz needed somewhere badly to vent my frustrations. I guess..All I can do now is juz learn to try to adapt and manage my time...

Jiayous tired de mi...

Rainy Weather. Dear pls rem to drink lots of warm water

2008-08-24T19:43:00.000-07:00

Today morning went for lessons. Bored as usual there. After lessons, it was drizzling but I was lazy to open my umbrella. =X While on the phone wif my sis, cuz I had arranged to mit her at Chinatown mrt at 1.30pm, then I heard a woman's voice ask " xiao mei, do you wan to share umbrella wif mi?" She was talking to mi oO She called mi xiao mei although she looks around my age? *lol* Not bad sia, Singapore still have kind hearted people around.

Took the mrt down to Chinatown and my dear sister was late for more than half an hour! RAWR. And during that period of time, I was molested by a segui's roaming eyes. Disgusted. He actually stood infront of mi and looked at mi from head to toe. I tot I accidentally showed him something or wad, but I din wad. And he still had the nerve to continue standing infront of mi and look from head to toe once more before walking away. Lau se gui == Finally my sis is here and she treated mi Taiwan's paopao cha to pei zhui =P I drank mango smoothie this time. Juz this drink was enuf to make mi feel full.

Then went into Peoples' Park Complex. Wanted to book our Japan holiday trip wif the itinery we are interested in. The unique itinery that has Sanrio land in it. But Japan Airlines is not cheap at all :( Plus the lady told us Sanrio land is onli included during school holidays, ie. Nov and Dec period and thats when the prices will be steeper. Gosh. Total tour package for 7 days, airticket, airport tax inclusive costs S$2400 per pax? + Sponsoring my sis will cost mi like nearly S$5K? Not counting the money that we still nid to exchange into yen. Oh god, my pocket will have a very very very big hole. Free and easy wun be aniwhere cheaper either..

Then we went on to another travel agency there. We were interested in the 5 days itinery. Onli that this doesnt include Osaka. Purely Tokyo. So byebye to our Universal Studios :( But this itinery seems more interesting. Hello kitty (Sanrio shop) / 100 yen shop / Hakuhinkan Toy Park - 8 storey building wif all kinds of games and toys for children or youth alike other than the main attraction Disneyland caught our eyes. Okay, more on my eye haha..I juz have this weakness for CUTE stuff. Day 4 will be a free and easy day where we will explore Tokyo, visit Disneyland and we plan to go Sanrio land as well :D Price was more affordable as well, onli that this was going by Northwest Airlines. But still, my money flew away :( Excited though. 1 month away :) But I am gonna miss my dear then ...

After booking the package, mi and my mei went window shopping a while at Kovan before she went off to meet her frien. Bought sushi and hainanese chicken rice home for dinner! Then it was still raining and the seller was quite polite. He handed mi my chicken rice and said " Xiexie. Man zhou. Hai zai xia yu wor, zou lu yao xiao xin..lu hen hua." smiled before attending to the next customer. Not bad. Today seems to be in luck wif polite people. lol. Singapore still does have hope. F3.

BUT....when I came home, I found a reason to frown. Dear was online 40 min ago before I reached home??!! And he was offline ler...Haiz..Hopefully he will come online later. Dear, I am missing you so much..Dear do you noe?????????

All Alone.

2008-08-23T21:00:00.000-07:00

Starting to dislike nights.
Thats when thoughts run wild.
Thats when I felt especially alone.
And weekends are no longer days I look forward to.

Totally clueless.
Where are you now?
What have you been doing?
How are your moods?

All Alone in this world.
Juz mi, myself and I.

Table Tennis Day! :)

2008-08-22T22:09:00.000-07:00

Couldn't catch the table tennis match at 10am today cuz nid to go work :(
Li Jiawei vs Zhang Yining. Kinda expected the results tho.

Worked alittle ot today and came home to watch the bronze medal match : Li Jiawei vs Guo Yue. Li Jiawei lost. :(

Table tennis reults:-

After the bronze medal match was the gold medal match. Guo Yue had earlier lost to Wang Nan, so now it was Wang Nan vs Zhang Yining. A close, tough and exciting match!

Gold medal match result:-

These table tennis players are reali good I must say. Love their fighting spirit.

Had alwiz enjoyed the wae Li Jiawei plays. Loves her determination and never say die attitude. But she can get impatient at times which can be her very big weakness. Camera managed to catch the "wen" word on her palm as she played in the bronze medal match. Cool. (: Looking sweet in pink =X

Li Jiawei:

Guo Yue, a young 20 yr old table tennis player from China who sweats buckets. Lol. It was funni seeing the slow motion replay of her drop of sweat dripping off her chin. == Young talent.

Guo Yue:

Wang Nan, a fiery hot table tennis player aged 30. Her skills are superb and she is a hot favourite among the Chinese crowd. But if I am not wrong, this is her last olympics. A tough girl. Nice table tennis skills. :) A smiley woman.

Wang Nan:

Another rising Singapore table tennis player. Introducing Feng Tianwei. Keep going!

Feng Tianwei:

The ever so cool, expressionless, world no 1 table tennis player Zhang Yining. A cool, silent assassin who lays back at first and returns you your just deserts. Strong, unbeatable, fabulous table tennis skills.

Zhang Yining:

My 2 hot favourites: Li Jiawei and Zhang Yining. They 2 simply rox :D

Started watching table tennis matches cuz of Jiawei. I like the wae she plays. I like her determination. Thats wad I hope to learn from her. Her determination plus Zhang Yining's accuracy.

Feeling tired. Shall end this post here! :D

Tired, Happy, Missing dear lotss

2008-08-21T23:34:00.000-07:00

Happie when receiving an email like the one I received today in office. Lol..Company did well, had some profit, so there comes our variable bonus together wif our August 08 pay! =X $$$$$$$ lols..Came home and showed my mum my August 08 payslip and showed Char my salary too..haha..suan her. Though not alot but its enuf to make her feel sour inside. haha..I so notti =X

Recently I tio one more payroll job again. Rawr..payroll again! Somemore add on to my busy period. ZZZ..Next Tuesday got to go down client's place to listen to wad is expected of us and wad we nid to do for their payroll. Let mi count..Now on hand I have 5 payroll jobs including this new client's and one accounts job! Not alot though..compared to one colleague handling 8 accounts jobs?! I tink I will go crazy if I am her. My portfolio at the moment already enuf to drive mi crazy.

Char onli can go for the Japan trip during my busiest period..so I was kinda afraid no one can cover mi if I go on the holiday. Cuz the deadlines are so close! == Singtel my biggest payroll job was the one I worried the most so asked my supervisor if anione could cover my job if I went during this period. She said no problem, she will cover for mi. She even helped mi ask the other supervisor about the other payroll jobs under her, if anione could cover for mi :X She told my manager too and they approved mi going, so she told mi not to worry and go ahead to book my Japan trip (: And my excited sister keep chui wo to go wif her to book our trip one of these days.lol. Then my colleague told mi in advance to help her buy MICKEY MOUSE tee shirt when I am there?! Mickey mouse ==" F3 lol

Hee..Din go for concerts, autograph sessions blahblah for about one year plus liao? Haha..this singer whom I liked since his project superstar days is back wif an album! Then recently found out is my sis's frien's cousin lai de! lols..

He got one autograph session on 30th August but I cant make it. Have the photoshoot on that day..lol...I miss the qian chang hui qi fen..probably will be going for this session on 6th Sept :) Looks + voice --> he can make it far :X

Oh! And little happy's eye is recovering! Tx to his visits to the vet, Yulin's care by putting eyedrops for him and my mum's wu wei bu zi de zhao gu. Lol.

Wahz..dear si zong for 3rd day ler..T___T since Monday after he went to bed! RAWR. *chants* Dear online~ Dear online~ Dear online~ Dear online leyyyyyyyyyyyyyy~

A happy Monday! =X

2008-08-18T23:59:00.000-07:00

Rarely have a happy Monday. Its alwiz been Monday blues but today is so special. Dear drove my Monday blues away like magic! :)

Seeing dear online simply makes my day. Came home after a tired day at work, on-ed my msn and dear was online in msn! Though he had told mi that he was fully booked today. Pleasant surprise that he's online earlier than mi! =) He seemed busy..replies were short and slow..I tot he was disappointed wif mi..and thus ignoring mi..after quite some time, dear suddenly seemed to be in a good mood and asked mi to wait for him in msn as he nid brb for 5 min :D I was impatient. Time ticked by. Couldnt wait to c dear online again. lolz.

Finally dear onlined again and he sounded excited =X told mi that the week he mia-ed, he had been busy preparing a video which he put in our sharing folder. And yest he had stayed till 5am! For the past few nights oso, almost every nite till 3am..T___T Hao gan dong! Then played audi a while wif dear until tired dear says he wans to go to bed oredi. Finally the video is done and dear can have a good rest now. :) The video was indeed a very pleasant surprise.

Thanks so much dear for the video. Though its ur 1st attempt..not bad ler! And be sure I love it lots :) You are so sweet. Appreciate ur efforts lots. ^^

You made mi smile. Muacks!

[[ 12.44 AM ]] ~ I m tired. Cant wait to join dear in his dreams xD

officially older by 1 yr le.. :(

2008-08-16T16:36:00.000-07:00

Took a day off to nua at home on my bdae. My bdae din had a good start. My lappy gave mi a heart attack when I switched it on, making that "eeeeeee" sound...and of all daes..on my bdae.....and so many times somemore. I thot how sway can I get..even my lappy plays a fool wif mi on my bdae == luckily it din break down though.

Then started to tink lots and spent the dae emo-ing. Beginning to feel useless at work. And missing dear so much at the same time too. :( Was in the worst moods so vented my frustrations playing hard beat up as usual. Felt slightly better then joined den and bel in their games. Tx for cheering mi up and tx den for ur numerous wishes. lol.

Tot dear will look for mi in audi..so hanged ard in audi until 9pm..still no sight of him..was about to feel disappointed le when bel smsed mi that my birthdae promise has arrived in msn..LOL..immediately went msn to find dear ler. Tx piggie :) tx dear for coming back to sg to spend my bdae wif mi. Dear spammed mega yesterday nite wishing mi happi bdae and sang a birthday song using mega :X lol then someone mega back ask him sing in malay and tamil. lolz. Couldnt ss :( Tx dear for your presence and your efforts to be romantic too and oso for your numerous wishes. Tx for trying to make my bdae a romantic and nice one :)

Bel's mega and Den's room title:

Dear's last mega of the day before we went to msn :D

tx piggie for helping mi to ss wad I wanted to but couldnt do. =X

And sorrie dear for falling aslp accidentally. :(

My sister's birthday present for mi. Pictures kapo-ed from my sis's blog =x

It's a radio cum speaker. Cute rite? wif the tail for turning the volume. And piggie look at wad I pointed. That was wad I was trying to tell u. *F3* But haven tried making the radio work yet. Tx mei :D

Tx everyone for the birthday wishes and gifts. :)

Hope to c dear later..gonna start missing him again.. =[

early bdae celebration :)

2008-08-14T23:06:00.000-07:00

Left work 2 hours earlier today to meet piggie! She told mi she had juz finished mission impossible. *F3* Was very secretive and told mi she had surprises planned for mi. lolz. Piggie handed mi this when she saw mi. :)

2 roses wif a meaning she made out of her own

Then we went to starbucks nearby, sat down and have a long talk. Long time since I reali talked to piggie. Kinda miss those times :) Then piggie said she was hungry oredi and said I will get my surprise later in the nite. oO Then I found out, she had asked someone out to meet for dinner too. Kept mi in suspense and guessing who that mystery person was. == Actually planned to eat steamboat..haha..but I was feeling full and had no craving for it animore. So we ended up at Fish & Co wif the mystery person for dinner. It was indeed a very pleasant surprise cuz I never expected she had asked this buddy of mine out. Even went to his workplace to get him to fill up the bdae card. Reali thanks so much for your efforts piggie. For makin the card, planning this surprise and going through the trouble to get him to fill up the bdae card :) Reali appreciate it lots.

Piggie, I simply love the card lots!

Actually took a foto of what you 2 wrote, but decided not to post it up..Piggie had initially asked mi to choose between Thursday and Friday, but I chose to meet her on Thursday, thus forgoing one more surprise, who can onli make it on Friday. Reali thankful piggie for the hidden efforts. Din c these 2 buddies for a long time liao..kinda miss them. Din c u piggie for quite some time too liao!

Another gift from piggie. Necklace from Perlinis Silver :)

Tx for your presences and thanks piggie for spending my bdae wif mi for 2 years le, ever since I noe you :) friens forever yea :)

Random-ness

2008-08-13T21:24:00.000-07:00

Shall blog some random stuffs :)

oO SWEETLESS! ==

Bought this kind of sweet during the msia trip that day. It comes in strawberry (my personal favourite :X), mango flavour, apple flavour, orange flavour. Tastes sour at 1st but it gets sweeter after a while :) My colleague loved this sweet and she discovered this sweetless sweet! It was so special cuz I mean, U hardly ever see a wrapper that is sealed nicely with air == and wif no sweet at all in it! *F3*

Some interns who came to our office to work bought everyone a cupcake each! So sweet of them! The cupcake looks sweet, doesn't it? But it's awfully sinful. Full of cream.

Went out recently wif my frien to this shop called Mahattan Fish and Chips, cant rem the exact name. Well, the fish and chip was nice! And I ordered this drink which has peanut butter in it! Though it was awfully expensive for a drink, but it was awfully tasty! Love it lots! *Zhu! Dun go shaking ur head and say 'awfully sinful' *

Now onto my dear little happy! Aww..look at him now!

My father said little happy wears blue contact lenses, juz like its owner..haha..which I thought it was funni..yea..one of poor little happy's eye has turned blue! So both eyes are of different colour now..:( Dazey brought him to the vet and the vet said it was..ulcer in the eye? Sometimes this little fella whines at night..felt reali pitiful for him..Though this little fella alwiz seems to bite all the girls in the house, except my father..ki siao at times, but we still love him to bits. He has become a parcel of our lives and we reali dote on him so much. :)

Oh! And gonna take a big family foto at the end of the month to celebrate my grandparents' wedding anniversary at a studio. Quite excited about it though :X Tink my father is excited too..he happily told mi to tell my sisters too "Wear nice nice ar that day for the photoshoot". Haha..Wad should I wear? *Thinks hard* Everyting looks nice on mi leh! How? haha.. okie.. *juz kidding*. Seriously duno wad I should wear on that day.

Tomorrow my supervisor is flying to Hongkong for a holiday and will onli be back on Tuesday! :( *Prays hard noting extraordinary happens during these days*. Sometimes I admit she does drive our hatrad level up wif her terrible moods, but sometimes you juz wish you can go up and give her a hug. Today she was in a pretty good mood I muz say, I guess its cuz she will be away from work for a few days. She told mi to be careful working under the other supervisor and wadever it is, that mi and Angel are still directly under her care. She also said she is very concerned about our welfare and if I am unhappi about aniting working under the other supervisor in any wae..to tell her and she will see wad she can do :) Before I left office today, she told mi " Be good okay? Aniting sms mi. " Felt good. I simply love her mood today. Felt like juz walking over and giving her a hug. Haha. But hey..I have ALWIZ been good. == So I wondered y she said that. *F3*

Have been feeling emoemo for the past two days. Today my mood seems better, so I put the blog back. :)

Wana sae ty to cherry for being there for mi whenever I am emo-ing and intro-ing mi more emo-ing well written blogs in chinese. haha.

And tx piggie too. Its been a long time since I reali talked to you. Yesterday ty so much for being there to listen to mi. Afterall, I guess you are the one who understands and will understand my situation at this point in time, most bah. Tx for reminding mi that I am actually quite fortunate because there is at least one person who cares for mi even after so long. :) Sometimes I do wonder if I should let my head rule over my heart.

To love or be loved? Which is more xinfu? I guess..noting beats two hands that clap.

And last but not least..hope everything is going well for dear. I miss you so.

心很痛

2008-08-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

又到了夜晚。。
疲累的心。。
只想得到你的拥抱。。
你的关心。。
但是今天已经是第五天了。。
你还是没上线。。
心情很差。。
心很痛。。
就好像被刀割了似的。。

多三天就是我的生日了。。
你和我的约定。。
但我一点也不开心。。
不知你是否会记得这个约定。。

如果你真的上线了。。
我希望是因为你真心想要陪我。。想我。。
而不是因为是我的生日。。一种需要。。

我是多么在乎你的不在乎。。
在乎你到现在还没看我为你生日做的图画。。
在乎你没想我。。
在乎你的失踪。。
在乎你的一切。。

我是多么想和你在一起。。
牵着你的手。。
大声地说。。
叶字弦。。你是我的！！
我想那应该是我最快乐的时刻吧。

有时我觉得自己很没用。。
我想躲。。想逃。。
但我躲不了。。
躲不了我对你的感觉。。
眼泪证明了我的爱。。

在我的梦里。。
你是最真实。。
在梦里。。
你完全属于我。。

有时我想。。
如果我一天真的在你生命里消失了。。
你是否会记得我。。会想我?
生命里有许多不肯定。。
但我很肯定的是。。
我真的很爱你。。

[[ 1:42 AM ]]

~♥爱的心声♥~

2008-08-10T21:12:00.000-07:00

天渐渐的暗了
在网上认识的那个特别的你
还是没上线

天天只能期盼在网上见到你的我
逐渐的离不开你
时时刻刻想你已成了
戒不掉的习惯

望着窗外的星空
想着此时此刻的你
晚餐是否吃了
忙碌的你是否累了

几天没和你聊天的我
心里是那么的沉重
过了三天仿佛像过了三年似的
心里起伏的心情你是否了解

你知道吗
现在的我有多么的想你
从不敢对你发脾气的我
是多么在乎你的感受

你说过你喜欢独立的女生
我知道是因为你需要很多很多的自由
我心里很矛盾
我不想让你觉得我的爱让你失去了空间
因为我害怕会失去你

我试着在朋友面前坚强
试着不在乎
现在只能期盼生日的那晚的到来
因为你和我的约定

该死的眼泪
还是不受控制的掉了下来
多希望有一天能走进你的世界
走进一个属于我们两个的世界

-------------------------------------------------------
闭上眼睛
用心去听
你会听见
我的真心
-------------------------------------------------------

心瑜♥字弦

想你的习惯

2008-08-03T23:24:00.000-07:00

就这样简单你走过来
而我终於明白了　
自己为何要存在

慢慢的我已经离不开　
因为我已爱上你了　
没有任何原因的
如果我说爱你能不能永远相信

这一天我想跟着你　
跟你说你最爱的笑话
我想以後都能在一起

每天想着你已变成习惯　
一直幻想你在我身边
牵着你的手我和你甜蜜的走

世界宽得有一些无奈　
你和我只有一个　
该怎么不怕孤单

说好了我们都要勇敢　
就算不小心迷路了　
也能够听见你的
如果我说爱你能不能永远相信

找到你的幸运多完美(多完美)
所有感觉多特别(多特别)
想带你走到世界边缘(喔)
未来不变

我和你甜蜜的走

Repeated this song many times..felt like the words reali suits how i feel..i dun feel ok..starting to feel emo..seriously missing him lots..m i starting to ask for more?

Life is so damn good wif dear aound :)

2008-07-31T13:43:00.000-07:00

I am here blogging in my office during my lunch hours again! haha.

In a pretty good mood though my supervisor was in a lousy mood today. :X still powered wif dear's dosage yesterday, I went to bed and woke up a happy little girl :)

I am happy cuz I got to celebrate dear's bday and our 1 year anniversary wif dear yesterday nite. I am happy cuz not onli did my wish~ (finally seeing dear, plus the outcome of his wish ) come true, so did dear's! =X Dear's birthday wish nearly did not come true..Nearly couldn't get wad he wanted before 12am. But managed to get it in the end wif my frien's help :X Happi that I helped to fulfil dear's sweet wish and he din get disappointed in the end :)Got our last heart and married yesterday~ dear's birthday wish :D Glad you enjoyed urself last nite. Hope you did. =x Dearie I love you so so much!

Hee..I noe this entry sounds rou mah..cant wait to go home..counting down the hours! Hopefully I can go off punctually!

Hope dear has eaten your lunch! Miss you miss you! :)

Dear and mi - the leo babies :)

2008-07-30T13:32:00.000-07:00

Blogging in the office after a satisfying lunch of claypot mee sua and my favourite sugarcane drink! :)

Yesterday night, had a dream that I was falling off a building. Duno y in my dream I was sitting dangerously on the building top with another woman, as if gonna commit suicide == Then suddenly I felt like I was losing my balance and asked the woman sitting beside mi to grab on to mi but she din! And I fell off the building in the end. == Then I landed on my bedroom floor! Luckily my sisters were still sleeping. The fall wasnt painful though cuz I kinda was semi conscious when I fell off ==?

Went to find out the interpretation of falling off a building in dreams..and this is the interpretation.

I guess I was too tired yesterday..was down with a slight fever.

Simply having Happy addiction! Unconsciously, before going to work, I will walk over to Happy, pat him and sae goodbye. After coming home, I will oso go over to him and sae "happy! I miss you so!" haha..and if you thought I was the onli one crazily addicted, Charlene shares the same addiction! =x Wad Charlene told mummy and I today made mi luff. Alwiz thought that Happy was abit kinda useless cuz arent dogs supposed to bark at strangers or catch the baddies who enter into the house? This little fella shuns strangers, becomes extremely quiet with unfamiliar faces in the house. Onli bites and bullies the familiar faces == At least he was good for something. Yesterday Charlene and her frien Tara were doing their project downstairs and there came a xiaoqiang. They were frightened and woke little Happy up from his sleep. haha..Little Happy saw that little xiaoqiang and ran after that pest and scared it away. haha..the thought of it makes mi luff. Yulin, at least your little puppy is good for something..running after tings that moves, including pests! lols!

The traits of mi and dear :)

Charlene, earn more money to lessen my sponsoring for your trip. Lets make the Japan plan work! Sanrio land and Disneyland, wait for us! Gosh..I nid a break badly.

Happy 1 year anniversary dear & HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2008-07-29T21:27:00.000-07:00

Been very stressed at work..wif loads of neverending stuff to do. lots of ot! Different supervisor working style. And oredi got so much to do on hand..still got to cover my teamate's work. Haiz. She is happily enjoying herself at her holiday while I am here in Singapore..very tired..very stressed. Wads worse..Wasnt feeling well since morning. Felt like there was one whole chunk of air in my stomach..felt uneasy..felt like vomitting..but i am NOT PREGNANT okay..Ren and ren the uneasiness in office the whole day..my supervisors said it should be gastric..one of them sort of chided mi and nagged at mi to remember to eat my meals and oso not to eat too late.

Feeling sian..the onli ting good about today is it's our 1 year anniversary..but still, dear is nowhere in sight and I am missing him. Lucky supervisor got a large bouquet of pretty flowers today. Her fiance had sent it to the office to celebrate their 6 years 6 days anniversary. So sweet..and the flowers are damn pretty! :)

And tmr's dear's bdae..so happi bdae dear! Hope you will have a great birthday and hope everything goes on smoothly for you. (: Wonder when I will get to talk to dear again....

The world of the unknown..

2008-07-27T23:47:00.000-07:00

Hidden agendas around all the time. Tired of a fake world. But I guess this is how life is...

Friday the female hammie in my house gave birth to 3 small kids. Sibuay tiny..and seeing the 1st time female mother seemingly stepping over her kids of cuz made mi kinda worried == Wad aunty! RAWR.

Saturday had to wake up early at 5+ am to get ready to go to Malaysia to visit the mango plantation at Desaru. Neighbour had booked a bus like van wif a seating capacity of about 15 people. Was actually excited about the trip but kinda got bored at the starting of the journey..started to miss my sisters..little Happy..and my bed.. ):

Reached Malaysia at about 8+ am and we went for our breakfast. After that headed to do some small shopping at the roadside shops. Slept on the bus whenever I had a chance to. Pretty tired..

At one of the places, my neighbour's son, Sean, asked mi to follow him. He said there was something to eat..and he brought mi to this plant.

There, the uncle of the shop plucked a few leaves off the plant and passed it to Sean. Sean passed mi a leaf and told me to eat it! The brownish drink in the photo was made from the leaves of the plant!

Oh my tian. I couldnt imagine eating a leaf! ==" But the leaf tasted sweet. Though it was a small leaf, it took mi ages to put that leaf into my mouth and actually eating it down. *F3* Saw a pretty looking plant there and took a foto of it. (:

On the bus, cheeky Sean passed mi an Oreo cookie..saying that he wans to treat mi! He even dropped it on the bus seat, which I told him to throw it away since it was dirty. He onli laughed and quipped.."y throw away? I wan to treat people de!" Turns out..that cookie was made of rubber but wif that cookie smell!

Cute Sean wif his "cookie"

The mango plantation. Lots of my favourite fruit there!

My mum bought 10 kg of it. And if you tink that was kua zhang, my neighbour and the aunties who went bought much much more. But who cares? My favourite fruit! x33

Then went lunch and after lunch, I was getting excited. Heading to Jusco for shopping! The activity I was waiting for! The name "Jusco" somehow reminds mi of Rasco and Oscar...haiz..I miss dear..T___T
2 hours of shopping time was given. But it was no fun shopping wif my mum..haha..cuz of generation gap bah? "Very expensive leh..dun buy lah" "Faster ley..dun spend so much time here..still got other shops to go" This shop caught my eye!

Wonder if this shop is available in Singapore..I simply love the clothes there..simply my style! Spent about RM 300 on one whole set of formal clothes. (one top, one skirt, one formal jacket and one pair of shoes). I wish I own that shop. haha. Mummy told mi "Cannot bring you out shopping leh." Its not like I alwiz spend my money mah.. :( I onli buy when I reali like something alot.

The trip ended after dinner and we headed back to Singapore. Suddenly missed Singapore alot. Missed the neat city and the organized roads.

Went for lessons this morning. Could hardly keep my eyes open. I was just so tired. It was a torture in class today..Felt so sleepy. After my lessons, went to People's Park to meet my Char! Was there to collect itineries and ask for prices of Japan tour package. Saw one itinery we 2 liked, but we din book aniting yet. A & A was having a promotion. There were four mascots there. Though their outfits werent exactly nice, one of them looked cute in an ugly wae (char's words). So char went to have a photo wif him..haha..Beibei was his name..the shortest among all..haha..reminds mi of teletubbies.

Nah..ur foto, Ms char =x

Went to buy durian pancake and taiwan's bubble tea. Went home after that. Wanted to blog but I was just so tired and so on my bed I went.

Logged in audi and realised something. Dear was online? Haiz. Duno y I am feeling grumpy today and starting to feel even more so..Had been comforting myself..it muz be time difference that you are not able to online. But..totally no news till today. Wonder if u even came in to read the blog.. I guess..if you miss mi as much as I do..you would have come to find mi since you know where to do so..but..

Not looking forward to tomorrow. Gonna be a busy week at work again..Not exactly happy at work these days. Politics..2 headed masks everywhere..

With friens, not exactly happy either..Distances are all I see....The feeling of being forgotten..the feeling of loneliness..and the feeling of slowly drifting away into the world of the unknowns..

Taxation!

2008-07-20T20:01:00.000-07:00

Duno how I can manage to crawl out of bed early in the morning to attend taxation class at 9am on Sunday mornings..so far so good for 2 Sundays..reached class early too..but duno y I juz cant do this for work ==" Probably I am still excited about class at the beginning phrase. F3

Learnt wads trade.
This is how UK Income Tax Act defined trade.

"Trade includes every trade, manufacture, adventure or concern in the nature of trade" Eh? Question marks..lol..

Today the lecturer on-ed the projector..and wrote the word "TEST". Everyone was oO" test? Then he asked " Y so surprised? Test.....just testing my marker onli wad " oO" ==" *F3* He did that to wake the class up. ^_^

Its true how we human beings, being funny people, alwiz remember adverse and bad stuff more and longer than positive events or tings...so today lecturer wanted to make us remember the important points..so this was how he taught us today.

He said,"General provision is NEVER..NEVER..NEVERNEVER..
NEVER...NEVERNEVERNEVER...NEVER...NEVER...
NEVERNEVERNEVER....NEVER..NEVERNEVER....
NEVER..NEVER...NEVERNEVER...
NEVER...NEVERNEVER.....deductible.." ==" then he quipped," Irritated? " Some replied "yea". Then he says " But u rem right?" Reali leh..can rem better this wae leh..F3

Then he shared wif us there was this time when mrt stations were built, somehow road tax increased. So people called MRT " More Road Tax ". Later, MRT was changed slightly to SMRT.. people started naming it "Some More Road Tax". In the end, it became SMRTC..the C standing for corporation..which became renamed as " Some More Road Tax Coming" lol..interesting.

He tried to make everyone wake up wif jokes on a sleepy Sunday. He shared this wif us. An exam question came out in a school's test paper. Question is "How to stop the river from overflowing?" Many students did not noe how to ans this question. There was this student who got frustrated and scrribled " DAMN IT ". But he got 99 marks! Cuz the correct ans was "DAM IT" minused one mark for the spelling mistake..lols..

Some tings he said was true too..sometimes we dun query ourselves y some tings are this wae and some things are that wae? We juz accept wad is being taught. But he, as a student last time..gave the lecturers a hard time. Cuz Credit is CR in accounting terms, but he couldnt understand y Debit is DR? So he asked his teacher and got thrown out of class! Cuz the teacher din noe how to explain..so juz threw him out of class. But he found out the answer himself aniwae..to tink of it, wondered y too?

He oso told us how fed up he was when people who comes into the lift do not show manners. Once, a guy entered the lift with him and told him " 5 " meaning he wans to go 5th storey..lecturer ignored him cuz he couldnt stand his no manners attitude. The guy, irritated, repeated "5th floor". Lecturer pressed "6". The guy even more irritated, said "5th leh". Lecturer answered.."correct wad.." haha..cuz lecturer was annoyed by that guy. In his theory, 5th floor meant 5 + 1 (ground level). F3..so he told us..never go into the same lift as him =X

Neighbour had asked us if we wanted to go and visit the mango plantation in Malaysia wif them on Saturday..My mum is going..but my sisters are all not going..so I told my mum I dun wan to go..though I was kinda keen to go and take a look. Then reached my void deck after coming home from lessons..saw my neighbour downstair..she physco-ed mi to go.. F3..said she will help mi book one place and tell my mum I am going..oO"

Guess dear is overseas now..My heart says " I miss you lots leh dear.. T___T " i reali do....

Neverending misses...

2008-07-17T13:36:00.000-07:00

Today I reali bo discipline! Set alarm then slp back...woke up 8 am liao and my work starts at 8.30am ==" Bathed at lightning speed today before stepping out of the house.

Lunch break is finishing soon..wanted to visit my sis's blog..then came out this error msg that the page cannot be loaded because....

*F3*

I am excited about the thought of going to Japan for holiday but haven planned when to go! But this oso means dat I am gonna burn a hole in my pocket...cuz I got to sponsor Charlene to go as well...but I oso wan to go Taiwan! Eileen is going Taiwan at the end of the year! But moneymoney again!

End of slack week..Tuesday onwards when payroll info starts to come in..I can juz drop dead! ANGELS ur blessings is much needed..And Den angel granted mi a complimentary wish yesterday..and this wish is supposed to come true at 12pm..but like I predicted, it din come true..cuz noting happened :)

Totally no news from dear at all till now..I hate this kind of feeling..the feeling of missing someone like crazy..the feeling of being forgotten... ):

Slacked but feeling sleepy?!

2008-07-15T19:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday went in audi and joined Den and his mogui mei in their games. His mei was reali mogui cuz she made our fingers work hard! ~140 songs! =\ *F3*..After that went for more torture..hard beat up..Regretted telling Den I had a slack day in office cuz I was in for more torture! He said I din use much of my brain so he was determined to make it work! *F3* So went on to play 1 2 party which I hardly play. After that played bboy..

In the night, Den and Bel turned into angels! I was granted a wish and of cuz I wished for something. Den casted his magic spell but somehow the wish did not come true ==" due to his limited powers? Reason is cuz they are gang gang chu dao de angels ==" complete with expiry dates? Then Den gave mi a complimentary wish again which of cuz din succeed again ==" He said "99% failure rate". After that goes on to teach mi how to summon them, even when I am in the office?! And again..even if summoned they may not appear? Dots..To add on, after their 7 days expiry date is up, they will turn into cannibals and I will become their source of food cuz I nid to repay them for their kindness??!! F3F3..Lousy angels :D and my teamate is an angel too cuz her name is Angel! haa..Dear's my guardian angel too..I am lucky to be surrounded by angels~ =] And dear! Your bro gave mi a new term again..==FHC *GRR*

Today abit of payroll information came in but I was still quite free! =\ But at least better than yesterday a teeny weeny bit. Now slack as much as I can..arbo next week =[[ more tings to handle ler. My colleague is going back on a home trip! So I got to take over her payroll job temporarily for a few months..Angel is going on a holiday and I got to help her to do her work too...I guess end of June I will be pretty busy..cuz I still got my Singtel to do! T__T

Bored during lunch break but luckily I have my sisters' blogs to read..their latest entries kept mi entertained..lol. Wonder if I am so lucky like that fortunate guy, wad I would do, buy or go if I won 1.5 million dollars from buying toto, juz like him? Most probably travel to all my favourite countries, get a licence and buy a car! Or buy a house! HOHO *Dreams*

cant help but miss you so...

2008-07-14T17:34:00.000-07:00

Still waiting for the payroll information to come in..so practically was rotting in the office today..supervisor asked mi to go for time off..so I came home left office 2 hours earlier today..

Reaching home, this cute little fella greeted mi at the door. :)

Then took my phone out and "ki kiat"..took a foto of myself..I AM BORED!

Not looking fwd to days to come

2008-07-13T17:33:00.000-07:00

Slept alot yesterday..trying to sleep away all that was on my mind..all that I was tinking of..

At night..dear finally onlined. Wanted to continue wif my secret project..which was actually doing up the ss wif some photoshop effects and making it into a video for dear as a bdae present..juz downloaded photoshop recently and experimented wif it..Felt that the ss weren't enuf..we din have ballroom dancing ss..but I couldnt get dear to go in audi as well..and when dear told mi he's going overseas again....very very soon...anytime now..and he wun be in singapore for his bdae...I felt down..Suddenly I wasn't looking fwd to his bdae animore..

Anihow..here are some pictures that I did up..Hope dear likes my efforts..

This ss was actualli taken wif dear saying these words..as you can see from the picture how overjoyed I was *F3* but dear belongs to mi too!

Of cuz the important person in my life :)

No matter wad we are doing..be it

STONING

or dancing

or even doing stretching exercises =X

Juz wanna sae every moment is cherished..I want to remember every moment spent wif you.

When I am troubled and you know I needed you most, you are alwiz there to lend mi your listening ear x333

Wad I wish to tell you =]

Felt like the time left to spend wif you before you go overseas again is so extremely short...reali hope to spend as much time as possible wif you and hope that you wun be away for too long...Its not even one day since I last talked to you..but I am oredi starting to miss you....

Managed to take one photo of myself before going off for my taxation class this morning. Cant reali see the difference in my hair colour through the photo bah..

And yep..Managed to change my taxation class..at least now the teacher speaks English =]

Seriously not looking forward to the days without dear again...for the whole day..the thought "dear is going away" keeps repeating in my mind...T____T Couldnt help feeling sticky.......

HAPPY 1 YR anniversary piggie & denz

2008-07-12T12:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday had a full day training of corporate image at SMU. The trainer taught about hair style, nail care, did makeup demonstration on her model, business ettiquette, face shapes and the eyewear that suits the different face shapes, colour suitability and of cuz corporate dressing. Quite interesting session though..but of cuz for the 2 guy colleagues who went, it wasnt that interesting cuz mostly for girls. One of them even fell aslp during the makeup demonstration. *pengz*

Juz nice after my training ended, my sister called, asking mi to accompany her to buy guide books. So went wif her to buy her stuff, and bought sushi which we ate on the wae home :) Quite a while since I last went out together wif this dear sister of mine x333

Came home and onlined audi. Den pmed mi, asking mi to help distract his dear, dun let her go into her Bel account. I was smart enough to know the reason why :X but end up I din help much too, din nid to help much either cuz Den's words alone works wonders. :D Den told mi to join in at 11pm..costume party? He said to dress in ur best costume, which is to celebrate their 1 year anniversary. Din noe the word "costume" meant the actual weird kind of costumes..so I came unprepared. Took an ss yesterday but why cant i find it in my ss folder? The case of the missing SS =="..so had to make do wif the onli video I took. So in this video I wasnt in my rainbow suit and neither was pikachu captured. =[

Tried to take close ups from the video.

Sorry piggie..duno y I cant get good close ups of you! grr..

Cure :)

Den :X

Cute hartz in her nurse set :D

US +___+

Den and piggie were like a happy little couple yesterday..tinking back..when is our 1 year anniversary? Can 290707, the day we 1st coupled in audi be considered? If so, it's approaching soon..but..dear is missing in action. Haiz..6th day oredi and no updates from him.....

WANTED. IF U C HIM..PLS INFORM MI!

My onli comfort is little J which I hug to sleep every night. Wonder if I am forgotten. I miss you so much.....so much.....

JYZX WANTED!

2008-07-10T23:59:00.000-07:00

Today's my mummy's bdae..we bought a chocolate cake for her :) And her response was "aiyo..i dun celebrate bdae de.." lame leh..christians aren't supposed to celebrate bdaes? Lamest ting I ever heard of. ==" but aniwae..hope my mummi had a nice bdae =]

Couldn't help but laugh at my sis's blog entry about the saloon experience :X Couldnt forget that look on her face when we both went to dye our hair together! Still getting used to my hair colour =\ haha..it was oso after reading her entry did me and Charlene understand y the aircon was banned for a few days..==" but it's back today :)

Haven seen my dear for days ler..darling where's ur update? where r you? i miss you...miss you...miss you....miss you lotz....T___T

* 2nd Day of my secret project *

HEALTH IS WEALTH~~~~

2008-07-08T19:02:00.000-07:00

Left office 2 hours earlier today cuz I started to feel unwell at work. Having stomach cramps and felt like vomitting. It became unbearable when I was in the train on the wae home. Vision was filled wif poka dots. Hailed a cab home. Cab driver told mi I looked pale..asked mi better go c the doctor..I juz wanted to get home and rest. The pain was rather unbearable. Reached home and immediately ate a panadol and the moment that panadol went in, it came out again in the form of vommit ==" I was sweating buckets and I oso din noe how I managed to slp. But after I woke up, the pain was gone. The contrast feels like heaven! :)

Dear din ask mi regarding that question that he asked the other day again..not sure if the answer is still needed. But I guess he wans mi to tell him when i have thought about it.

The Question:

Wad would I want to do and go if I have the whole day wif dear?

I noe wad I wan to do in the night cuz thats wad I have alwiz wanted to do wif a loved one. In the evening, we would go to the seaside, walk by the seaside barefooted :)

Then we will watch the sunset together..

I wonder if Singapore still sells the mini fireworks. Those stick kind where you light them up and you have a mini firework!

Couldnt find the exact picture of the ones I saw in Singapore. If they are still available, we can light them up and make wishes =X

After that we can lie down or sit by the seaside looking at the starry sky and wait for sunrise! :X

I duno if your question allows mi to have you for the whole day..haha..I noe wad I plan in the evening sounds long..but..have alwiz been wanting to do that but din get a chance to. Wonder wad dear tinks of these activities so far? Hopefully not disappointed...

For the day, I am not reali sure of the activities. Probably would like to do tings or go to places where dear has not been to or has not done before.

Brought back the memories of that day when dearie and den were at my office building and I din go mit them..I din expect that dear reali wanted to mit mi..I tot they were juz pulling my leg..haha..I was actually very nervous then oredi.....but feeling unprepared too.

Sometimes I fear disappointing dear cuz i guess he alwiz mits pretty girls outside, so kinda should have a certain high level of beauty expectation of a girl..and plus i guess dear alwiz has this concept of mi having a good figure..but i want very much to mit dear too...and do wish to b able to mit him one dae too..

And dearie..fear not luh..I am 101% A FEMALE! *F3*

missing you dearie...muackiex

Quiet working environment

2008-07-07T22:11:00.000-07:00

Yest morning I audi-ed till 1+pm but dear din online..T__T Then went out to Far East Plaza with Eileen for shopping! Browsed through many many clothes shops..shoe shops..Managed to buy one top..and whole afternoon was gone. Went for a satisfying set dinner meal for 2..affordable and nice =] 7pm went for a haircut and dye our hair at Highest. S$100 FLEW AWAY! Probably I am still not used to how I look right now..feel weird looking at myself in the mirror. Though noting much changed, other than the hair colour. BUT my blur mummy hadn't said aniting about my hair YET. yea..YET..wait till she realised the colour change. lolz. Then more shopping..and burnt a hole in my pocket as a result after that. Tings started to go a little better for me.

Came Den's sms regarding the guild tinggy. Went home and saw zhu's offline msn msg. Felt like finally everyting's back to normal. :) Went in audi helped my frien npc then went to play wif zhu and hartz. After that went msn cuz dear is online!!! ^^ finally see dear....dear came online looking for den..and oso to get my bloglink and read the blog entries before slping =D Changed the bloglink to wad dear had suggested :X While msning, was talking to my buddy on the fone about his vacation training which starts today! Near my workplace somemore. Finally put down the fone and moments later, got to turn in to bed wif dear ler. Then we went off to bed at about 3am. Of cuz not forgetting to hug my little J to slp! :)

Today started work upstair on 9th storey. BYEBYE to my private corner. But the new work station upstair sibuay quiet. Juz like now..onli my typing sound can be heard! Totally like a library. =="

Later got to go for class after work :( miss dear... *1.01 pm*

----------------------------------------------------------------------

oh god..today's lesson sux! He din teach mi taxation! He taught greek! I dun understand a single ting he is talking about! My colleague warned mi about him after I told her who my lecturer was..arggh..looks like i m gonna change the class! 1st lesson onli cmi liao..cant imagine the rest of the lessons..and his notes are not updated!!!!

*I m happi cuz dear juz came online :D Wana thank you dear for being there~*

lost everyting..

2008-07-05T17:15:00.000-07:00

At this moment, I juz felt like I have lost every single ting. Will isolating myself be the best?

Sort of gotten back my family..becoming alittle more united wif my sisters =] but somehow..losing 2 friens? i miss dear..

freaking bad day

2008-07-03T20:36:00.000-07:00

Today was totally a freaking bad day. Started the day wif supervisor's black face. Wasn't happi wif her attitude. Neither was my teamate. Until my teamate flared up at her. And she talked to both of us. Her face still long, obviously unhappi.

Stayed behind after work to clear my stuff to move upstair. Exhausted packing those stuff, clearing my desk and drawers and bring them up a storey and unpacking those stuff. Came home feeling oredi down and tired. Dun reali wan to talk about wad happened after that.

Tomorrow I took time off to rest from work and oso spend the whole day wif dear..but..my dad's in hospital again. Tings happened.. Pmed Den to sae sry..no reply. Smsed zhu to sae sry..no reply either. I juz suddenly feel like a pest. Feel unwanted. Feel alone.

Wanted to login dear's a/c..then realised..he changed his pw..haiz..

Who understands my feelings now? I guess no one. Since I am so disliked, I will be out of your worlds.

Only you can drive the dark clouds away =]

2008-07-01T23:49:00.000-07:00

Hmm..a few days bo update liao..cuz I was busy overtiming overtiming and overtiming..past few days especially yesterday and today, my supervisor and I were practically going crazy! Suddenly yesterday one client at the end of the working day bomb us wif another tight deadline, due on 9th July == Gonna b busy and busy and busy...I nid a break! Yest was rushing my Singtel payroll..finally finish the reports yesterday and did amendments and fund requests like for the whole day today? I like doing Singtel payroll but this month was reali crazy. 3 payrolls for Singtel this month =\ Worked till 8.30pm yest..rushed home..but dear not online..and my little bun lvled 3 lvls yesterday. Ty den and zhu :)

Today I muz say I am a happy girl. Love dear's mood today =X Enjoyed myself after work in audi juz now wif dear around =] x333 many days of not seeing dear..I missed him so! Seeing him drives my dark clouds away :)

Dear posed mi a question juz now and I am supposed to give him an answer. *tinks hard* Though it seems like a simple question..somehow dun wanna disappoint him..

~Happy is my mood now~

[[ i love you..
i need you..
i tink of you..
i wan onli you..
you chase away the storm..
and making it all ok :) ]] love you dear

The distance.

2008-06-27T23:53:00.000-07:00

Felt the distance getting bigger..Now you are juz like a stranger. Dun seem to noe you animore..Tomorrow's your bdae..but you seem to have oredi erased us from ur life. Not a word exchanged. Din noe that even a smile from you could be fake. I duno wad to tink animore. Its draining mi and upsetting mi that you are disappointing and upsetting people who care for you and yet choosing to listen to people who try to brainwash you to stay away from us. Aniwae wadever I say now you will juz "yaya ..wadever.." in your brain cuz your brain had been programmed in such a wae that onli her words sink in..cuz her words sound better and sound nicer to you? Aniwae..happi bdae. Hope you grow wiser in time to come.

Onto Happy. He eats practially almost everyting. Carpet thread..hair..wadever he can find..and the other day, he noticed this ant crawling on the floor and the next moment, his tongue came out and the ant disappeared. =="

Did a little ot onli today though my work is like onli about 1/2 completed? Dateline is on monday. By hook or by crook, everyting has to be done by monday. Came home waiting for dear..Looking forward to seeing him cuz he said he will be online at nite today? But I guess I am forgotten again. No updates ntg..

Reali dread having to get used to certain tings.

Totally drained. These days reali had no discipline to wake up. Alarm ring and I slept back, and waking up onli to find that I am late for work! Even slept during lunch hour today. Work is keeping mi very busy..my mind is occupied wif so many tings..wonder if it can store animore? Practially physically and emotionally drained.

Shifting our stuff by end of this week so that our team would be up by one storey on Monday. Haven started clearing my table and throwing away unwanted stuff. My manager had already started to move his tings and even his plants up! Supervisor warned me of certain politics. x/3 hate having to be careful of this so and so and that so and so. Why are people such scary creatures? Why cant people make life easier for others?

Well, today, manager called our team individually into his office. Handed us each our letter, stating our new salary. He told mi roughly wad other jobs are in store for my portfolio though everyting's not reali confirmed yet. Supervisor got a promotion though it doesn't make much of a difference. Assistant supervisor to supervisor. Onli difference is she will nid to take care of more people now. 2 more colleagues are added to her care.

Feeling practially almost invisible.. *solitude* Wads in store for mi tomorrow?

YOU make mi smile =]

2008-06-26T23:59:00.000-07:00

Before I sleep, shall update here about my busy busy day today!

Today noting new, stressed si ler as usual! My work is like onli 1/5 done! How! Juz kill mi suan ler! HELP!

Dropped an email to dear early afternoon cuz I missed him so! And he replied at about 3+pm! But..I onli saw it at about 4+pm. =\ Had oredi yue hao go out have steamboat dinner together wif eileen, her bf and YJ. T___T cannot go home earlier to find dear..=[[ Then at 6+pm dear sent mi an sms! Pleasant surprise leh cuz his last msg to mi was like on Mar 07 2008? =X x3333 Dear was waiting for mi in audi! =] So I bai tuo zhu to help mi pass him the msg that I am out for dinner. ty pig~

Eileen kept smsing mi asking wad time to mit at city hall and if i going off work ler..*F3* Was trying to do abit of ot todae, finish up some work at least, but in the end, din manage to finish another 1/5. I told her to mit at city hall at 7pm. And guess wad? She and her bf were late! @^#$#&^%$&^% haha..then we went to eat at Yuki & Yaki. 1st time there. Not bad though. And thumbs up to her bf =] Help her carry bag, realli take care of her sia..cook the food for her and put on her plate..come all the wae from yishun to fetch my meimei at times..*claps*

My mei and her bf =]

look at this! CHICKEN! YUMMY!

JI TANG~

Cant believe my sis's bf likes to eat beef and cant do without beef! That raw meat over there is beef! x/3 I hate BEEF, or rather..cant imagine eating it..so I NEVER touch beef.

Eh..but the main food I was looking for..Yuki Yaki din have! F3..WHERE'S MY FAVOURITE LIVER!!!????!!!! *disappointed* On the whole, not bad luh the food. The chicken and fish were tasty. =X Eat until very de bao. Each person had to pay S$21 + GST . But I din mind cuz I just got my pay! This month got AWS =]

Wanted to rush home..cuz I miss dear so much!

Finally home..and dear was still online as promised! Had 3 games in expert channel before hopping to free channel to cpl! =X

JS LOVE

Played about 1 hour + then dear jiu offline ler..wo xian zai yi jing kai shi miss ni liao..

YOU are the reason I can smile despite the stress I am facing..love you dear..YOU keep mi going =]

TGIF again! I reali nid a break! My "engine" is breaking down soon! *F4* BUT I am glad that dear's here for mi. U will be here for mi, wun you, dear? =]

Tink you should be in dreamland ler..Hope you have a good night's rest. Will join u shortly =] muack~

Stessed at work! Lei si wo ler!

2008-06-24T22:37:00.000-07:00

Went to work in a crowded train as usual. Today a girl standing infront of mi kept squeezing and her sweaty back rubs against my hands =[[ Uncomfortable enuf oredi but something worse happened. Suddenly there is this rotten egg smell and I wish I can stop breathing for a moment. I guess she farted silently =="

Busy busy busy day at work as usual..wif neverending work and tight deadlines..haiz..going crazy! stressed si ler! How to finish so many tings especially within these 2 days?! *cries* juz kill mi!

Yesterday an intern from duno where came and will be in our company for 2 months job training. He is an angmo wif blue eyes (according to my supervisor). He was actually to help out the other team, but the other team had many new interns helping them out recently so asked if our team needed help, so that the angmo intern had something to do. Supervisor keep joking wif mi.."aeh..dun get electrocuted by him ar" == I am not interested. *F3*

Then my supervisor asked mi to pass him my reimbursement claims to do...so my supervisor went through the steps wif him. Okay..1st step is to scotchtape all the claims..remove any staplets for photostating. Supervisor showed him how to photostat after he was done wif the scotchtaping. Heard he photostated dun ba lei. So he got to sort out and refoto copy those that he did not photostat, which in actual fact is almost the whole stack, since he photostated wrong side..=\ So he went to sort them out and refotostated.

2nd step is to use the exchange rates and calculate the foreign currency amounts into Sing dollars, which he calculated and passed to mi end of the day. Had been very busy and onli managed to take a look at the claims today. But gosh...the claims were in a terrible state.. =[[ Some had duplicates, some were missing and he din staple back all the originals..and all were in a mess..I had to resort everyting out. Haiz..Its the same as I do everyting myself. Tot he was supposed to have sorted out and made sure all were there..but ==" end up I still have to re-sort. The exchange rate conversion needless to say, I have to go through again. No confidence in the completed work he had done. And the steps he had done were like onli half of wad was supposed to be done. Even photostating and making sure all that should be there is there is oso not done properly...sianz..tmr got to re-do this..Looked at my supervisor today as she passed by my table, tired and kinda frustrated. Uncontrollably let out a "HAIZ" as she walks past. And she luffed =[ She jested " now you noe how it feels like to teach new people and feeling frustrated at the work they give you " T____T luff at my misfortune. At least I noe when I was new, I was much better =="

Came home and audi-ed quite a while. Then came here to blog. Found these on the webbie. ^^

How I wish Happy can fit into cups juz like this kitten..haha..then can bring him around!

Cute!

LOL?

Anione wans to call this number? *F3*

Gona start classes again very soon..1 more week free from school. This time I signed up for one subject fearing the worse. Hope I can cope...Workload is pretty heavy these days...and is gonna get heavier..Feeling sibuay drained..

I miss my dear...2 days din c him ler..is like ages! T____T missssss dearrrrrrrr

TIREDD!!!

2008-06-23T23:59:00.000-07:00

Tx dear for spending yesterday wif mi for a few hours =] Today back to your bz schedule again..jiayoujiayou!

Was a busy day at work today as usual..and my supervisor today was like.."come serena..i show u something..so funni luh" So I went to c wad isit. She took out something from a box like thing and it actually looks like some kind of sweet, until you LOOK CLOSER. I nearly got fooled. My supervisor said.."its the you noe you noe?" x.x" Then I looked closer and realised wad it was ==" It was actually packed in such a cute little box that is similar to the hello panda box? Apparently one cheeky colleague had come back from a holiday from taiwan and had bought her a c_ _ d _ m? *F3*

After work, met my sis today to go register for my acca..She was considering if she should take acca as well..Then later we went for our dinner and we did a little shopping as well. After that headed home..hao lei..felt blur and tired. oO"

Eh..char..tx for decorating my bear. *F3* Mum was like luffing at the bear luh. Make my bear look like its so damn cold ==" And ya..u better leave my other bear alone! U can decorate the lilo if you wan to == Juz leave the rest alone. =X

And tx eileen for the overview of your fone in ur blog *F3* Reali wana buy it..but then again..you have it ler..*considering* & *hesitating* Dun reali like to have wad others have liao. My colleague bought the same fone as mi after falling in love wif my fone..=\

Ty zhu and hartz for helping mi, tagging mi a few games..managed to earn enuf dens for 2 lic games..dear finally lvl 21 ler! :)

Wo hao lei...going sleep soon..hope it will b a better day for both mi and dear tomorrow!

Hopefully mastering the technique of smiling no matter wad happens..

2008-06-22T22:24:00.000-07:00

Sometimes tings supposedly solved in actual fact still remains unresolved..unknowingly it has become like a shadow in ur life such that something supposedly not a big matter has become of significance to you because of probably something that happened in ur past? To get rid of that shadow..i guess you nid lots of courage..lots of support..lots of trust.. lots of determination and a change in your mindset. But i guess it has a lot to do wif one's character too. Sometimes we juz got to learn to let certain past go..and stop it from hindering our happiness in the future. No pt to keep raking up the unhappi past when you know it is not this presently and end up feeling upset about it, isn't it?

I hate the feeling of helplessness, not knowing wad has happened and all I could do is see the person upset and yet not being able to be there for the person, know wad is going on in the person's mind. And the worst ting is not being able to ask. I hate being ignored. Hate having to do guessing games. Hate trying to analyze the situations that have happened. Hate being uneeded.

Woke up late todae..still feeling so tired but the time made mi crawl out of my bed unwillingly. Audi-ed a while before going to msn. Then returned to audi to lvl my little bun and saw dear online. Played audi wif him for 2 games, then he went to rename his other character while I took my lvl 6 licence. After that went npc wif dear, piggy, king, eileen and some guild members. Finally bought my colour pen :)Had been npcing for a few hours after that.

Feeling very drained. Tx zhu for your msn title as soon as you saw wad was on my msn title..=\

Quite touched :)

I know its gonna be hard to try to master the technique of smiling through the day no matter wad happens and no matter wad affects me cuz I for one, is an emotional person. Heart rules over my head. I reali got to try to wif many new tings happening everyday in my life that is weighing mi down or I will reali go crazy! Give mi a break soon! And Serena, GIVE YOUR WIDEST SMILE! YOU CAN DO IT!

Realli start to miss those poly days. I guess those days are the most exciting and most interesting, most colourful and wif at least less worries and less stress. :) How i wish there is a time machine infront of mi. Then I can return to those times when I enjoy myself and erase those unhappi events in my life, and erase away certain people not worth knowing. Then life will be full of happiness, love, peace and joy! A regretless life.

Tings I wana get and do : -

Craving for my steamboat! Liver~~~~ And god I love my sis's handphone..And ktv!

Smile smile smile smile smile~

Dearie..you are missed! ~

2008-06-21T11:25:00.000-07:00

Today woke up and had the mood to blog cuz after a night's rest, I am feeling slightly better! =] And right now I am missing my dear!

My past entries had been so long and wordy..hahaz..so gonna post some pictures taken yesterday!

Me and zhu were sitting at this spot yesterday. Ms piggy was doing her sch work evaluation tinggy and blogging infront of mi..F3.. Crowded seaside yesterday.

Busy seaside~

Love the red clouds..=]

Nice scenery isnt it?

haha..and the sweets I bought yesterday from candy empire! I love mints! x333

My frien intro-ed me this song that is now playing on my blog~ I tink its a nice song so wanna share wif you guys! (: I usually like to listen to songs that suit my current mood. Though this song doesn't realli apply, some words in this song do apply though.~

* my heart still belongs to you..
Tinking of those days whenever you will come and say..
That I would never be alone..
Dun leave me here..

You are my love my onli need..
And it was you that set me free..
You are the light that guides my way..
You turn darkness into day..
Forever we will be one.. *

TGIF!!!!

2008-06-20T23:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday..I left work quite punctually..din wana do ot..was juz on the train when zhu called mi, asking me if I wana go aljunied wif her to buy her jelly tinggy...aniwae I had to drop off at aljunied too, and had no plans to go aniwhere either, so decided to go wif her shopping. And so zhun, we were on the same train at the same time! So there wasn't even waiting time cuz we reached our destination at the same time..

Sort of a mini food paradise at aljunied mrt station. kinda love the mrt station now..got Old Chang Kee, jolly bean, a mini cafe, a bakery..no worries that I hadnt eaten my breakfast cuz I can alwiz grab my breakfast cum lunch there! Lazy to go out to buy lunch during lunch break especially nowadaes. Ate wad I bought so that I can grab as much sleep as I can during my lunch hour! Duno y feeling so tired nowadaes..probably cuz was so busy wif my work, my deadlines for the bonuses and oso emotionally drained. Felt slightly fresher after some rest during work. (: After zhu bought her stuff, we headed home seperately. Feeling utterly disappointed wif the blog entry my sister posted, which she deleted away in the end. And I missed dear so much...hadn't been talking to him for days.....And I am glad he was there for mi yesterday. Tx dear for listening to mi patiently..I needed that and appreciate that lots..(:

Today felt reali sleepy. My eyes were closing..cant wait to finish work! TGIF! YEA! THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY!!!!! Wanted to go vivo, so asked zhu if she was free to accompany mi. Kinda missed the sea there. Wana go there and relax my mind. Vivo is sort of mi and zhu's place ler..in fact our favourite place..sitting there, enjoying the scenery, tinking tings through. We sat there for a few hours until the sun set and watching the sky slowly darken. After that went off for dinner at about 8+pm. Wanted to eat my favourite food, curry chicken rice..but ended up eating herbal chicken instead! My other favourite food..=X But disappointed to sae..the herbal chicken was like so damn expensive luh..+ rice = S$ 6.00 and the herbal chicken soup was so tasteless..ended up eating my rice with the red chilli instead..the chicken meat was oso tough ==" we shared dim sum too..eat until wana puke ler...Feeling so full...........And went candy empire to buy lots of tang guo! F3..oso bought the egg like candy that den bought the last time for sweets day! =X

Was lazy to take train and bus home..so wana cab home instead..but vivo is alwiz full of people waitin for cabs..then juz nice zhu's father called at that time and wanted to pick her up as he wanted to go home oror liao..and so he sent mi home too! =] Such a sweet father zhu has.. ty piggie for accompanying mi today.

After reaching home, onlined as usual..and it was like oredi 11+pm..after onlin-ing a while, to my surprise, dear onlined! But after talking a while, I sort of screwed everyting up by my moodiness. Sry dear....

Actually glad that my mum noes about dear's existence..tx to someone's attempt to throw out everyting she tinks she noes about us. :) Aniwae, there's noting to hide cuz we din do aniting that hurts our conscience. So I explained everyting to her and told her about dear.

About wad u mentioned..juz wana clarify certain tings about mi n jay..

1) You mentioned I am fond of Jay..wait for him for days and hours juz to talk to him.

About this point, you are right. I do like him..but he din ask mi to wait for him. In fact he doesnt wan mi to wait for him to online..he wans mi to go ahead and enjoy doing wadever i wana do..but I juz couldnt help it..i guess its a natural ting to wan to b able to talk to the person you are fond of, and besides, there's no other ways I can talk to him or contact him other than talking to him online.

2) You said that I said your frien is bad..and so jay isnt bad by not giving mi his handphone number, and making mi have no other waes but to wait for him and made mi upset sometimes and yet I still treat him as a part of mi? And if our whole family objects between us, wad will I do?

Juz cuz Jay doesnt give mi his handphone number, he is deemed bad? Of cuz I do feel disappointed that he is not giving mi his number till now, but wad can I do? Force him to give it to mi? Since he doesn't want to, I try not to ask. In fact I din ask him about it animore.

About him making mi upset..I admit there are times when I do feel upset cuz of his actions..but that's cuz he is someone that I hold dearly in my heart..someone I care for, someone of importance. I guess when someone's important to you, even their little actions mean alot to you. But has he influenced mi in the wrong wae or taught mi to do bad tings? No he din. In fact I do look up to him. I feel he is a very learned person and I respect him for that. Although I am older, he has seen the world more than I do. In fact I turn to him for advices instead. At least when he noes I especially nid him..he is there for mi.

About the matter on IF our whole family objecting us contacting each other?
1st, wad has he done that our family will object mi contacting him? Has he influenced mi in any wae bad? No. Instead, he encourages. He supports mi. And even nags at mi to drink more water and rem my meals. Wans mi to stay happi everyday. He advises. He does show his care in his little ways at times. And aniwae mum now noes about him. And she oso noes I clearly noe wad I am doing..and I clearly noe that I wun do aniting that pricks my conscience. And there's noting to hide between mi and jay. Morever, wad's between us is not as complicating as ur situation.

Even IF they do object..wad has he done? Has he taught mi to do tings like stealing? Or aniting that violate the law? Is he of bad influence? No he din == So stop comparing us and ur situation. Its a TOTALLY different situation altogether.

Shall end my wordy and lengthy entry here. Wad dear had said, does make sense. And I dun wish to pollute my blog animore about some idiot. This blog was and is meant for mi and jay :)

Its 3.00am now oredi..and I am feeling tired. Gona sleep soonliao..Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. (: And dear..before I end off my entry..juz wan to sae I m sry for spoiling your mood. And tx for coming online to check out on mi. Tx dear. x333 *appreciates*

Dear, where are you?

2008-06-18T23:57:00.000-07:00

Busy day at work today again. Did ot and felt so tired these days. Every bit of energy is draining out of mi.. So much have been happening these days such that there's simply no time for my mind to rest and take a break. Take away my worries please..but how is that possible when almost everyday, there is something happening? Couldnt take it animore and needed a rest badly. Closed my eyes and rested during my one hour lunch break...dear ni dao di zai na li...

Today was a happening day. Someone smsed mi telling mi tings that have happened in my house today. Immediately called home to check out the situation. To that someone out there..i noe you have read my previous entries and will still read my entry. Please do go and read charlene's blog entry too. I tink she wrote an entry full of sense and hope her entry wakes you up. Still want to continue acting sia..You still dun learn from ur mistakes. Go ahead and complain or get angry about wad I wrote here. You are simply disgusting. Pretending to care and coming out wif lots of stupid silly stories, trying to influence others and brainwashing people. You jolly well know wad you have done. Don't make mi name all your bad deeds here. Everyone has a tolerance level. You are pushing us to the limits. Y dun you juz stop your nonsense and repent? Still wan to ruin ur own life and drag others down wif you? Seriously duno wad you r tinking. I tink you are juz simply sick in the mind. Eh..go ahead and hate mi. You are welcome to do so. :) No wonder you do not need to go ns..cuz you are simply sick up there. Reali pray that God will knock the senses out of you. You dun even noe wad the hell you are doing.

And girl, this is for you. It's not that we dun care. Perhaps we have neglected you in some wae or another. But tink again. When have you ever shared your problems wif us? How are we supposed to know wad's going on in your mind if you keep everyting to yourself? When we ask you questions, you feel we are intruding into your privacy, your life. But we are merely juz trying to understand wad you are tinking. We wont even bother to ask if we do not care for you. I noe tings are not going to get into your head at this point in time. But I dun understand how isit that everyone can see wads wrong and yet you are still willing to b under ur so called frien's control? I noe you have your own friens. Your own life. No one is stopping you from making friens. But when we feel you have been led astray, mixing around wif the wrong people, we advise. Its your life we noe, but cuz it is YOUR LIFE, we care. Do you understand wad I am trying to bring across to you? Juz wan to let you know, you are NOT ALONE. And about wad happened today, perhaps her method was wrong. But have you ever thought y she did that? Please spend some time to reflect on your own actions as well. It's hurting everyone who cares about you. Everyone has done some form of wrong in their lives, but its not too late to amend your waes and stop listening to the devil. Stop ruining your life. We may not say much, but we love you...

get OUT of HER life AND OUR lives

2008-06-16T19:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterdae's happiness was short lived. Tings started to happen after our Father's Day dinner.

Entry specially dedicated to the person who caused a mega stir in our lives and messed up our lives. [[ YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE ]] The more I think, the more pissed off I am wif you. To manage to get mi to hate you, I tink you are something. You should be honoured you bagged the TURNOFF of the year award specially given out by mi. And oh ya..be honoured too that you are the very FIRST person in my life that I HATE. I muz sae you r reali something. Pissing mi off is something oredi, but pissing my whole family off, I tink you are indeed REALI SOMETHING. Utterly disgusted at your actions. And putting words into other peoples' mouth? Trying to spoil others' relationships or friendships? And mentioning that her frienz led her astray? Eh..from the looks of it, more like you are the one? You are reali one of a kind. Stop putting on a mask and QUIT UR DAMN ACTING. Sorry to sae no one appreciates your acting. A suggestion. Y dun you go to TCS to act? Or even b a director? At least you get paid, and hengheng, you may even get..haha..Blind supporters. But then again, I DOUBT you will get the job or probably you did, you WUN LAST in the industry. Regretted knowing you. But well, thanks for "being there" when I needed a person to confide in, but ur sins cant cover your "goodness". The evil plots and curses you have at the back of your mind..you reali make mi feel like naming you an IDIOT. Sorry to be crude but you are reali one. Feel sorry for you cuz U r one but yet u DUNNO u r one. Hope GOD blesses you..cuz I tink you badly need his blessings. There is juz so much evil in you. LEAVE HER ALONE and LEAVE US ALONE TOO. Go act for people who are willing to play your mind games. And juz a reminder. Money is something but it is NOT everyting. So stop tinking as if you have $$ you can do wadever you please.

Today was juz horrid. My supervisor was in a bad mood the whole day? She reali made mi feel so fed up today. Higher position = subordinates are venting tools? Onli you are in a bad mood mah? Onli you are busy mah? Did ot today for 2 hours and decided to juz go home although my work is not completed yet. Juz felt so tired of tinking.

ee..monday blues again!

2008-06-15T21:22:00.000-07:00

Wkends are over again! T__T so fast! Nowadaes feel so tired at work. Juz wana go home as soon as possible. Tmr start of the week again! Tolerate 5 more days .. aww..

Yest wanted to go out wif zhu after she wakes to buy her baking tools and stuff but in the end got called off so stayed at home and audi-ed. Managed to earn onli a bit of $$ by npcing to help pump in $$ for belz to buy a bigger house for the guild. =X Zhu felt so bored and started to sms mi but aniwae I was feeling bored too..haha..2 bored people. F3.

Today wanted to go out and pass my time. Then treated my frien the icecream at bishan..craving for that ever since I saw my favourite aunty eat the chocolate fonde wif her family. Wahaha..but in the end..aiyoyo...they dun accept nets de..tsk..then my wallet oso oni got S$ 40.00, then lazy to go all the wae 1st storey juz to ti qian..so buay sai eat my chocolate fonde...ate banana split instead. My frien keep scaring mi..sae + gst + service charge later S$ 40 oso not enuf. haha..then I told him if not enuf, U stay behind and wash their plates..haha...4 hours can pay back liao. F3..haha.bully him. =X End up add up to S$ 37.00. So expensive sia. F4..

Then went to buy my comic books! The author haven write finish leh..write until 18th book liao still writing..then i bought the 6th to 10th book..one shot buy all sure very de expensive T__T I love his drawings! The girl character so chao ke ai! The shop staff oso got read that book! Tell mi.." The nan zhu jue very sa de leh..like the girl bo confess..until 10th book liao still haven sae..tsk! " =X

After that went arcade for 2 rounds of daytona! Then went to play street fighter! lolz..anihow press press..ruanruan sa..oso got magic power come out. Aiseh. Then this guy came to sit beside the machine I was using. Oso playing fighting game. Then he keep look over at my screen. So paiseh. Ani o how press the buttons and "chia si ni! da si ni!" =X That guy ask mi choose one character..sae very li hai de..F3..then taught mi how to chu special skill..=\ But i oso dun care..yi jing zhang..anihow press liao..lolz..Play until po pi..==|| so li hai == f3

Then went to eat KFC. Shared wif my frien the 2 piece chicken meal..so full liao..but craving for the chicken..hao jiu bo eat liao.. Then went shopping! 1st time go charles and keith. Dun luff at mi..but the stuff there expensive luh..but today juz felt like going in and take a look! End up bought a bag and shoes! haha..Then nid go home liao cuz nid go for father day dinner at 6pm. Hehe..then piggie was feeling bored and smsed mi ga jiao.. =X x3333

Came home logged in my msn..lucky I logged in..cuz after a while, dear oso logged in! I tot my eyes playing a trick on mi sia! Hapi to c him leh..after 1 week bo talk to him ler..so miss miss him..=X Onli talk like 30 min he sae wan go off le..but I made him stay a while more pei mi..haha..cuz aniwae i another 30 min oso nid to go off for the dinner liao. After that I nid to go for my dinner ler..T__T then dear oso go off9 liao.

Went greenland restaurant for dinner. Everytime eat out wif my relatives, most of the time nid to eat vegetarian food..cuz two of my relatives families eat vegetarian food. My grandparents, my favourite xiaogu's family, my da gu's family, my san su's family all went for the dinner. Of cuz the meal sao bu liao the fake abalone! Yummi..Tink got about 9 dishes + onde onde for desert and oh my tian..one slice of cake each. Lychee cake..==" I eat the onde onde that time oredi felt like blek out all the food liao..then c the cake..==" zzz..juz took 2 mouthfuls and mai eat liao...cannot squeeze in animore liao..HAO BAOO...

Finally home! Tired! =X Today's blog entry so long! Today seems to b a better day. (: FINALLY..at least today I am a little happier.=X

dear...

2008-06-14T17:54:00.000-07:00

6th day ler...ni bu jian ler 6th day ler...ni zai zuo shen mo..ni zai na li....

Quit acting and do some reflections ty

2008-06-11T23:06:00.000-07:00

People whom you once believed and tried to trust time and time again could actually turn out all rotten within. People are in fact actually the scariest ting on earth. Acting all goody in front of you and backstabbing you from behind..Love can be a wonderful process. It can be a torturous process. It can also even turn out terrible especially when the love's all gone. Once the love is gone, how scary it can be when suddenly the person you once loved turned the tables on you. 360 degree change. And quit acting like you are such a nice person, a concerned little fella and conspiring behind with all your little dirty tricks.

Agree totally with wad my sister mentioned. When will you ever feel tired of acting? We have had enough of your nonsense. When people are super ultra nice to you, and doing tings which you will never even do even for your best frien, I guess you got to start tinking twice. Its juz all too good to be true. Someone I love has totally become a different person. Ever since the past year. Stop trying to brainwash people and even go to the extent of pulling people's parents down into the picture..Reflect on your own actions before you criticize on others. Oh..and please put in efforts to cover your loopholes. Blackmailing ar? U tink share prices? u tink IT is made of gold? I dun wish to sae all these but I guess your actions have reached our tolerance level. And please learn some manners. Thank you very much.

Dear..where have you gone? It's the 3rd dae of missin you ler....haiz..

Feeling out of place.

2008-06-10T22:49:00.000-07:00

Kept myself bz at work todae and did ot...Occassionally logging in msn to c if you were online..but didnt c you...came home and onlined.....got dc-ed and when I came back..saw an offline msg from you..you muz have thought you onlined and I offlined..but the ting is I din even c ur msn window pop up..probably I juz gang hao dc-ed. Juz one min and U r gone..haiz...

Wads up in store for mi these days? An evil cloud showering his evil swayness on mi mah? Sometimes I reali wonder wad had I done to deserve wad I am getting? Or am I juz purely sway?

Yest was a terrible day. I wished I hadnt tried to finish up my work like crazy during my lunch hour juz to squeeze that one hour earlier to b home..Outside is pouring heavily right now..seems like indicating how heavy my heart is feeling right now. Who will understand or try to understand?

You are everywhere. Everywhere I go, every now and then, you juz appear in my mind. Wondering wad you are doing, how you are feeling, whether you have eaten?? whether you missed mi too? Couldnt bear to be angry wif you..couldn't bear to see you upset..Couldn't bear to ignore you..just know that I rather be the one suffering than to see you sian-ed or angry or upset. Seriously never felt this way before. It juz feels crazy. Loving someone I have never seen before in my life? [ i knew i loved you before i met you? ] These were hardly actions I had in my past dictionary.

Juz sitting there stoning infront of my lappy. 2 days had gone by without reali talking to you. By the looks of it..you wun be online ler..haiz..morever its raining...a temptation for you to sleep...

A tired mind. A clueless mind. A questioning mind..Tinking of so much tings lately and hoping I can juz stop tinking...Suddenly feeling out of place..feeling like an extra and unwanted person in DSB..If I am required to leave..juz let mi know.

wo zhen de hao lei....hao lei..

Haohao ai wo hao mah?

ACTIONS IMPORTANCE PROTECTION

2008-06-09T23:59:00.000-07:00

Actions, importance, protection - 3 simple words..but words to tink about.
A messy day..A hungry, tired, bz and crazy day.. A day where i felt foolish pia-ing for a good day turned bad..

pray that dear's audi download works!

2008-06-07T23:59:00.000-07:00

Many deadlines ..nid to rush my payroll..then juggle my other accounts job..next wk and next next week..variable bonus coming up. Needa do up the bonus payments and another 2 client's payroll as well...and yesterday supervisor told mi another 5 more accounts assignments coming in to be shared between mi and my teamate..means more deadlines..haiz...which means time management oso...hope I can manage..=\ cannot oso muz manage....then now new company policy..bo 13th month bonus every july liao...now change policy revise the salary..so every month is that revised amount...Then my manager's whole team gonna move up to the 9th floor ler..nid to start clearing up my table and cupboards soon..target is July move upstair..

Still duno to sign up for the another lesson anot..5% early bird discount bo ler..

Today wake up bz at the kitchen baking cookies..yea..butter cookies again..but this time my mum dun allow mi to add cane sugar..sian diao...so the cookies din turn out as well as last time's, though appearance wise it looks better cuz it's whiter this time..my sis saes the cookies taste quite hard..=\ T___T My sister fried banana fritters..so today was considered a busy saturday in the kitchen..lol..but.arrgghh..i m disappointed wif my cookies this time!!!!!

Yesterday wanted to download wonderful online and play wif dear..but my comp suay..haiz..din manage to play wif dear..so dear ended up playing alone while I download it for the 3rd time. Dear sae can even buy maid inside the game..lolz...sounds cute..but dear said after a while he lost interest liao..and uninstalled it..so i oso bo continue download liao. Now deardear redownloading audition. Reali pray it works this time..Guess audi is still the best. Afterall that's where i knew dear ^^

Wonder wad dear's doing....missing him though he's online..[5.24pm]

Den intro-ed an internet audi to dear..so we tried it out. Took some ss of our games..

Tried to distract dear =X

Dear download his audtionsea le..bu bo try if he can login..he prefer playing this instead. *F3* so we played for hours..trying to figure this and that..and I dc-ed so many times! T__T

Haiz..now he you go pei 4 qian jin ler..sian 1/2...haiz..duno wad to tink animore..wish i can juz sleep it off..

sian-ed.

2008-06-05T21:57:00.000-07:00

took one dae leave...thought can enjoy it wif dear...but he was bz...din realii talk..until later part..his response was a little quicker....but soon..he got to go and entertain 4 qian jin? Feeling sian-ed. Endless introductions of girls to him......how am i supposed to feel right now? Anione in their right mind wouldn't wan to share their loved one wif another...but wad right do i have? i dun have ani...and when the right one comes along...there goes mi..right into the dustbin..

i seriously duno wad to tink right now...and am seriously not enjoying wad i m supposed to b enjoying right now...juz stoning there.....waiting for the dreaded moment when they go to his house..and the dreadful moment i need to share him wif not one..but 4 girls..not that i have no confidence in myself..but so wad if i reali do have confidence? Afterall wad right do i have?

Afterall onli in ur dreams m i realistic.. [[ 1:32pm ]]

I duno how I should be feeling rite now. U said I have the rights and dun i get it? But to tink of it..I do have the rights? nah..Can i juz be selfish , jealous , angry juz like ani other people? but i am in absolutely no position to do so. I wish I have the rights.. but wad m i supposed to sae or how m i supposed to react? Afterall..if something does happen..wad can i do about it? force u? oO? And sae NO U CANT DO THAT...?? my onli choice is to wish u all the best and walk away bah..wad can i do except to accept? Feeling all in a mess...cant u understand how selfish I am? ur 1st cyber girlfriend..oO hmm...a statement I should be happi about? ya...UR GER...virtually.....................

Finally its all over..for the moment.

2008-06-04T19:21:00.000-07:00

Finally away from books today! Oh tian..yest's paper was a horrid one..today's was no better. Yesterday was practically so damn tired that noting could get in. So decided to go to sleep and wake up early to study today. Woke up at 5+ am..tried to read new chapters that i bo read..but couldnt get in..i was still so tired. And fell asleep. Wake up try to revise back those that I read before and even made notes, but wad the heck? Mental block? And I cant recall a single ting! That kind of feeling simply sux. All my hard work of memorising has gone down the drain? How come I cant remember a single ting?! Is juz like reading something new again. Totally panicky and I dun even noe go exam for wad...hand in blank paper ar? Juz panicked and couldnt stay calm. I guess will end up retaking..aniwae I alwiz never had confidence when going for exams..Dun wan to tink about it animore...wait till the results are out then i prepare to face the music..and bear the consequences.

My exam desk was the last row for yesterday's paper..but todae's paper, i was sitting right infront?? And it was raining..so damn cold the aircon and i was practically freezing in there!

Finally...I can take a breath. My eyes are so tired..Din see dear today..duno where he has gone..hopefully today he will be online.....Appreciate dear for being online the past few days to accompany mi to study till early hours the next day, encouraging mi. Reali made mi feel much better.

Tomorrow will be on annual leave to enjoy one day's break..i juz noe i m missing dear......

I see the rainbow! ^^

2008-06-02T10:25:00.000-07:00

I was juz like a little happy girl yesterday who has just been bought loads of toys by her parents. (: Finally...after 5 days of trying to brave the "stormy weather"..I see a....

yea..a rainbow! ^^

Had been reading my notes like for the whole day and seeing deardear online in the night makes my day better! (: Dear was sweet to accompany mi study though he had noting to do online and was feeling a little tired. Had to resist talking to him for a few hours cuz nid to study and tmr's my biz law exam! Days pass by reali fast..Tmr's my biz law exam and I still can haha now when I haven studi finish ==" buay tahan..:X juz try to read as much as possible and try my best tomolo!

Though we din talk until the later part of the night, I was happi~ thanks zhu for helping mi find my favourite song "teddy bear" ! And I feel happi cuz I see initiation too! Muacks both my dear and zhu! Thanks dear for pei-ing mi! x33333 reali appreciate it! Thanks zhu for being more sensitive (love u!) haha..

"The gift" was a song I intro-ed to dear. Told him the song was for him and it now seems like somehow it had become our song (: Glad dear likes it.. Pei him listen to this song before turning in together last night at about 2+am...=] simply love dear..

Now juz wana get the hell done wif the stupid exams and enjoy the sweetness soon! Back to study liao!

__a contented and happi little girl__

speechless

2008-05-29T22:07:00.000-07:00

3 days of not talking to u..juz wanted to have a chat wif u. u onlined and offlined to show mi those nicks?

Wad did i do that was too much? Haven even talked wif u and you said I m too much? Is it mi or is it you? Wanted to believe you..chose to let certain tings go..and tink positively..tinking that probably you juz din wana disturb mi from studying or as u said, you thought u online will spoil my mood or wadsoever? I never thought that way. U being online dun you noe how happi i get?

U left mi speechless. I was hoping you missed mi as much as i had missed you. But you reali left mi speechless. And especially when I dun even noe wad the hell did I do wrong? I am alwiz at fault aniwae..

If I dont make u ani happier, y dun u juz tell mi? If u wan mi to leave you alone, why dun u juz tell mi? If you dislike mi so much, I will juz disappear from your sight if that makes you any happier.

Sometimes I wonder..is sending you that email a wrong ting to do? I was just telling you how i felt, regarding you, which I dun normally do. And one email caused this between us? Or has the problem been there all along?

U hurt mi deeply. Ur actions speak louder than your words..if this is the wae you wan it..wad can i do but to accept it? Tears are all you left mi at this moment..

T____T

2008-05-28T19:56:00.000-07:00

dear...ni zai na li....

I miss u...if onli time can turn back, i will not do the ting i regretted doing.

I miss you, your company and your jiayous......Dear bu yao bu li wo hao mah...I alwiz love u being by my side....

sorry....

2008-05-27T12:50:00.000-07:00

Thankful to you for ur understanding and thank you for telling mi how u feel..Regretted tinking too much and spoiling ur mood as well.

Dear..I replied your response and I am sorry. Sorry for thinking in that wae. Give mi one more chance hao mah?

throw everyting away!!!

2008-05-25T20:53:00.000-07:00

Dear came online yest juz to tell mi this.

jiu offline ler..happi cuz he online to encourage mi but sad cuz never talk jiu off9 le...T__T

Then today oso...din even talk dau. Juz online change same nick as mi jiu bu jian ler..haiz...tink dear juz din wan to online and make mi fen xin..but....=\

Armed wif my waterbottle n little J...read through my notes....damn sian-ed.

Tmr back to work again..Start of Singtel payroll cycle again! Well..I noe i cant read finish my stuff..juz try to squeeze as much into my brain. Looking forward to end of exams and not looking forward to it too...days pass by juz so quickly..cant wait to stop reading n relax! sure end up retaking...

Banned from emo-ing....*F3* but I miss dear....!!!

Boring wkend YAWNS

2008-05-24T15:56:00.000-07:00

A boring wkend its gonna b...facing my tons n tons of unread notes..n a wkend without my dear..=\ Wonder where he is now and what he is busy wif.. T.T
Woke up early today at 6.30am. Intention is to study. Well, quite proud that I managed to wake up at that time. Read through a little and ate the durians Guat Ming bought yesterday for my family when she came to visit. Bought about 6 packets of durians. Yummy. Love durians~ Haha..n wad a weird breakfast it was for mi today as there was noting else to eat. But still feeling so tired. Then readread n fell aslp. Woke up onli about 2 hours later to contniue reading ==" Mum came home wif lunch at 10+am and so I ate lunch at 10+ am. *F3* boring economic rice.

tx dear for sparing mi ur listening ear whenever I needed one. Thanks for ur advices too. And of cuz not forgetting to thank u for constantly + oil for mi and also ur company yesterday.

and something u once said before which is oso my sentiments. (:

thanks den and zhu for ur words of encouragements today too (:

Practically struggling wif juz about a wk left to study. Feeling kinda stressed and sian-ed. Back to struggling after my bath! T.T jiayou serena!!!!! ><

It reali hurts...

2008-05-23T09:58:00.000-07:00

Felt I shouldnt have onlined this morning. At least I will be left wif the happi moments of yesterday..simply loved yesterday. But today all that was left..was silence. A qn, an ans..silence....No talk onli jiu offline....not a word even.

I wish I can be understood. A spare of thoughts for my feelings..thks for tinking of going bunk to accompany mi later..actually I very mao dun...wish U play audi wif mi..yet I dun wish tings that will spoil my mood to happen later. It tends to happen in audi. I feel sian. Do u noe? Seeing ur nick..I felt even more sian-ed..harmless chatting wif girls mah? Well..I m uncomfortable, seriously. Close an eye mah? Pretend I din c aniting? I cant even get U to unblock ur pm for mi..yet U could do it for another person the other day...U never noe the feeling...deep down inside I tell u..it reali hurts..

I cant help but tink IIANNIRD..Afterall..U have never reali TMHMYNALM....

Left undecoded....I guess U din even tried decoding and U wun visit here by ur own even bah..

thanks for the thought, my candy dear ^^

2008-05-21T21:46:00.000-07:00

Manager's 30 min talk wif mi today about my appraisal. Happi wif my performance too. Okie..so far so good. Well, enjoy life now before more jobs come in. That's wad my supervisor says. =]

Juz wana sae ty dear for going to bunk and pei mi audi oO mized audi-ing wif u..=]

Haiz. Okay stop blogging le..nid to study liao..

X333 My candyman~~

2008-05-20T20:17:00.000-07:00

Today my supervisor did the necessary staff appraisal. Went into the room and she went through how she felt about my performance so far. She sae she very satisfied and happi wif my performance cuz I have been very accurate so far..so she look up to mi on this matter cuz she herself cant accomplish this amount of accuracy at my stage :D happi~

Then after staff appraisal, logged in hp msn and saw deardear online! Hehe..told him about wad my supervisor said and chatted wif him all the wae till I reached home :) Then dear offlined to download maple liao. Realli appreciate u alot dear especially today. :) I m stressed but happi..U sae i sot liao. *F3* my little candyman..ai si ni ler :X

Nid to go back to studies ler....^^ x333

JS LOVES forever * Baobei J & Little J *
under the same sky wif a nice full moon today ~

Studystudy!!

2008-05-19T16:19:00.000-07:00

Juz came home from visiting my father in hospital. Tmr he should be back home =] But == unavoidable topics start to come up...my love life la, my studies la, dazey's love life la, dazey's frienz la, my sisters' results la...blahblah...

Finally home. Today my mood a little better ler ba..but still tired and sian...haven touched my biz law till now. god bless mi ==" Sry to everyone regarding my lousy moods these days. Probably reached the brim yesterday and totally wasn't myself. Guess I was too stressed and tired and pek chek..tempers started to rise. Dui bu qi dear and zhu. Thanks for trying to cheer mi up and also pushing mi along, scolding mi when I terribly need the scolding =X Dear sry for spoiling ur mood yesterday. I guess U got sian-ed..And dear I like the bear, so no worries! I have been putting all my other soft toys aside at one corner on my bed and hugging the bear U gave mi to slp every night! :)

Thanks to the frien who alwiz initiates a conversation wif mi and trying to cheer mi up whenever u r online. Thankiex. lolz. I tink my face was sibuay black yesterday such that ur frien even noes i m in a bad mood =="

And dear finally tried the cookies! (:

Hee..Thought that dear was cute :X n this kinda made mi luff =] kawaii deardear ^^

Muz go back to studying ler..try my best squeeze in as much as possible..jiayou myself! jiayou jiayou! =\

And as usual...deardear i miss u o!

Serena, wake up!!!!!!!

2008-05-18T10:39:00.000-07:00

Feeling tired..restless..listless..101% sian-ess..feeling forgotten..feeling uneeded..feeling pek chek..Negative feelings all the wae today. Wad's gone into mi? *kiks myself* Wake up!!!! Concentrate on ur studies!!! U dun have much time left to study ler!!!!!!!!

I wish I can. *slaps myself real hard* Staring at the loads n loads of papers infront of mi..felt sibuay sian..lack of motivation..I wish I can have the motivation I had weeks ago. Ur company. Ur support. Ur encouragement.

But..haiz..I hardly even get to talk much wif u these days. Ur brb seems like Bo Return Back? Everyday all I look forward to is to get to talk to U. Kinda disappointed that U haven tried the cookies yet. Disappointed that the massager cant work.

Somtimes I wish I can be emotionally independent but I somehow juz cant. It seems so hard. These days I juz feel so bottled up..feels like I am going to explode ani minute. Do U noe how much I wish that you r by my side, pei-ing mi during this tough period of time?

Forgive mi.I tink I am going crazy..or probably..I have oredi gone crazy.

Sweet little gifts =]

2008-05-17T17:49:00.000-07:00

Talked wif dear a while in the morning and he haven't got a chance to taste the cookies yet! Container is too airtight? And the massager cant work? *F3* Dear u got to get them working somehow! T.T

Cabbed down to zhu's place to get the gifts from deardear and den..

Sweets from den ^^

U will notice the egg like chocolates r gone..cuz little dazey opened the packet and tempted mi to eat it. ==" shared wif my 2 sisters..n all in our stomaches ler! The chocolates r nice! we lurve it! =] Tx!

The little bear from dear :) thanks dear x333

The camera shy bearbear holding flowers =]

Liked the wrapping paper used to wrap it

Not very well taken ):

Thanks dear for the gift =] Thanks den for the sweets too. Sorry den for spoiling your mood. Haiz. Hope u not angry wif mi ler. Reali sorry...

Thats all for today bah..duno wad to write ler...

love u deardear ^^

2008-05-16T20:51:00.000-07:00

Came home after work n played wif little lazybum for a while. He's reali getting nottier ==" N he reali made mi exercise today. When he goes berserk, he's reali like a sot little puppy..run stop run stop, low growl and shake his head right left right left, machiam like doing lion dance *F3*

Should have onlined earlier. Din noe dear was trying to keep awake and waiting for mi to online...=\ Dear gang hao offline when I onlined. Msg couldnt get through. I waited a while, but he din online. So I thought he went out and I went to bathe. Came back n saw dear msned mi and he offlined liao ==" Was about to haiz liao then dear onlined again =X But chatted like about 5 min ..dear hao lei..wana oror liao. Jiu offlined le...after a while suddenly onlined again to show mi his msn dp.

Tadah! dear's msn dp :D

Show mi ler..he jiu off line liao. Paiseh dear the hearts were supposed to stick on the glass but keep coming off ==" Dear seemed happi though. But he din mention aniting about the gifts. How he found the cookies..Hope he liked them..........I guess dear wun online later ler...sure lost in JS Garden..

Gonna join him in JS Garden for a while. Then get up n try to read my notes.

Happi bdae zhu! I noe this year the bdae U r very de happi. Den reali put in alot of efforts I guess U wun b saving ur tears of joy tonite *Envy* lol. Happi ger..here's wishing you a HAPPY BURTHHDAYYYY once again and hope ur birthdays r happily spent every year! U lucky little piggy.. ~zhuzhus forever~

Forgot to take a picture of the little handphone sock U bought mi, so here it is! Ty zhu ^^

ok..gona join dear a while..~~~~tata

^ ^

2008-05-15T22:43:00.000-07:00

Todae lunch @ Swensens at PS!

Dear look at wad I ordered!

Salmon fish wif mushroom baked rice! But...not as tasty as it looks..lacking of cheese!!!!! =\ So din reali enjoyed it. Still pizza hut's is better. :D cheesycheesy!

Complimentary soup of the day

Chocolate icecream wif pancake.

Sinful? :X and oso ate half a slice of pizza.yummy =D

Then after lunch went back office and continued the rest of the day *sobs* After work met sadako. Waited for her like 1 hour+ *strangles sadako* Din wana eat dinner but ended up buying so much. == all sinful stuff. Vegetarian mee goreng..chendol..then ate zhu's homemade potato mash..& zhu's homemade jelly ><" I reali ate alot sia. DIAO.

Scared of toto sia. But he's better looking than I thought. Haha. And at first he seem guai. Until zhu's father came home and he started to go berserk. ==" Came near mi and wanted to sniff mi. I got so scared la!! *SHOOSHOO!* Made sadako open the bdae gift I gave her. haha..cuz haven took a foto of it.

TADAH! The gift I bought sadako! *Replaces den's bear* =X

Glad zhu likes it. (: Muz hug it to slp k?

After that went home..but dear still bo online. Miss him miss him!

Tomorow he will get to taste my ai xin cookies! "Addictive" is wad my supervisor and teamate called my cookies! And *F3* my supervisor cant stop eating and she finished my cookies ==" Wanted to leave some for tomorrow!! Still ask mi go bake somemore == F3..but reali excited..though haiz..ya..the cookies r baked a few days ago and 101 cookies for dear somemore...

^^ Guess thats all for today bah...I reali si ding le la..haven studied. And my teamate keep stressing mi everyday. Sae I like very confident blahblah. She onli take one paper oredi stressed like siao. Somemore her's is calculation which cant be ani worse than my 2 memorising subjects == Dun come stress mi...grrr..

Ohya..heng my exam centre at Bishan. She kelian nid to go all the wae to dover for the exam. Haha...

Yupyup! That's all for today!

........................................

2008-05-14T19:43:00.000-07:00

God muz have sent down a heavy downpour to wash away all my crazy haywire moods, cuz this afternnon I guess I felt slightly better. Woke up and thought about den's words yesterday that dear was reali very tired as he was super bz wif work but still he came online to talk to me at least for a while. Guess I wasn't understanding enuf. Sry my sweet dear x33 Deardear yesterday busy wif the maby girls huh..=X *F3* Dun ci ji wo!!

My father was down wif pulmonary embolism and will be in hospital for 7 days. The condition he had 7 yrs ago. DOctor still trying to investigate the cause of it. I guess he should be fine soon bah. Hopefully.

Wanted to post the picture of the place we went for archery the other day..but my company this block that block, even wan upload picture oso buay sai. ==" So cant upload here. Now wan upload picture oso cannot ler ==

Yesterday was Sweets day for everyone below 50? *F3* Happi sweets day dear! x.x" Tx deardear for being so sweet and alwiz telling mi that I still have U. That U will stand alongside wif mi =] love u dear.

And Tx zhu for being the unglam sadako yesterday and cheering mi up. =X and thanks den too for being the sensitive person u r and checking on my status and end up being a counsellor to mi at times. Tx also to the buddy who alwiz doesn't seem to be emo at all. Asked him his mi jue and he replied cuz he has a great bunch of frienz pushing him along. Lucky him :)

Zhu's unglam sadako picture! hehe..i noe i m gonna b murdered =X ty eh =D

Well thats all for today bah. Tmr will be going for the Swensen's lunch treat! Hope it will turn out well. Hopefully can go home after that. F3. If so, I will probably either go back to office 1st or rot around somewhere hopfully reading my notes, and waiting for the time to mit zhu after her school to pass her the stuff for dear, her, den and cure.

Sneak peek @ the preszzies!

Deardear and sadako's bdae prezzies!

Deardear's cookies!!!!!!!!

Sianz. Dear has juz gone offline ler. Haiz. 20 min of conversation this time round. Haven responded n he offlined ler..again..*F4* Dear..is waiting for mi to respond that difficult? Wad are u bz wif? Nowadaes I cant seem to have a good chat wif u..juz keep getting F3 replies from u..I thot I have thought it through..but y m i starting to emo again? I guess I miz U too much..When can U spare mi more of ur time? Its been a few daes since we had a good chat.

Left with the recent msn titles to cheer mi up.

and the msn title I liked best.

Haiz. There goes my chat with dear again..Starting to miz dear ler =="

All Alone wif noting to smile about..

2008-05-13T20:33:00.000-07:00

There's noting happi to blog about at all..

So here's another sad n pek chek entry..1st, my grandfather fell down last wk, hurting his leg...yest was not a good day either, and today, my father was admitted to hospital. A chain of bad stuff..wads more to come?

Dear wasn't online yesterday as he said he wasn't going to. Well, today...

yea..he onlined. Juz love it when I see a different colour msn window pop up, cuz that would be dear online. His was the onli special different colour. He told mi he had to slp earlier today, about 10.30pm? But he was online onli about half an hour and he gtg offline? During this half hour, his response was slow too. Guess he was busy doing some stuff, though he said he was free earlier on. Haiz..there goes my look forward chat wif dear for today..a chat that lasted juz 30 min.

Was actually giving myself hope that today I would be able to talk to dear cuz of these words he had said to mi 2 days ago. He did mention before that he noe he cant dun online for too long. So these r words of comfort, words to make myself tink positively..words that get mi through the day.

Should I tink positively like wad I alwiz tell myself? "Hey, at least he onlined yea? At least he came online to see how u r doing. At least better than noting yea? And u oso noe he's a bz guy..so U should be contented ok?"

Usually, I will be smiling ba. Smiling cuz dear onlined. Smiling cuz he's juz like a miracle medicine or as den puts it, a handyplast? But still, y is it so hard for mi to smile today? Am I starting to become more n more selfish? Expect more n more? Have I changed? Today all that comes to my mind is, "Can't dear juz spend a little more time wif mi?" "Can't you juz wait for my response before offline?"

Am I that difficult to please? I thought I oredi expected very little, or am I getting greedier? I juz cant find aniting for mi to smile about. I feel so alone..I wonder if I dun online..will dear look for mi? send mi an sms? Will dear miz mi? Is the onli wae I can contact him through online? msn? Everytime I feel down, I juz feel so alone. Dun wana dampen others' moods wif my moods. All I can do is smile, act like it din bother mi when actually deep down inside, it bothers mi alot..

No one will understand this kind of feeling..all alone in the darkness..juz mi n my shadow..

Ai Xin Cookies x333333

2008-05-12T23:42:00.000-07:00

Talked wif deardear on msn yesterday during lunch hours for about 1.5 hours. Then dear suddenly offlined and never came back. ZZZ..dear alwiz like that de..bo tell mi jiu off9 ler..#T%$#T^%T Dear had gone out and was very tired. 11.45 he logged in msn and bu dau 5 min, dardar wan go koon liao..he sounds like cmi liao..very very de tired. Wonder where he went ><" But hen tian leh..he still onlined though he is tired, juz to tell mi he gonna go koon :X x333 And yesterday was one of the rare cases he actually waited for mi to sae wan an before he offlined. *F3* Usually I din even have a chance to respond, then he jiu bu jian ler. *F4* Then I oso went offlined and joined him in JS dreamland =X

Today woke up early to make ai xin cookies for deardear. So sweet the gan jue. Baking cookies with your own hands for someone you love and treasure, for someone so special in ur eyes. So was happily doing it luh. And decorating the bottle. =X I din tink the cookies turned out bad. At least they weren't hard to the extent I expected it to be and they were edible and quite tasty I guess. :D Quite proud of my efforts though I shudder when I tink of the negative response dear, den, zhu and cure will have. Esp dear, since his is the biggest portion. Hope dear likes the cookies. =\ Paiseh that you have to eat 5 days ago the cookies, and so many of them. *F3* Couldnt make them later as I would not have the time to bake them when I go work. Sry deardear. And Den, please remember to help mi take the foto! :D

Okie...back to studies. Haiz. Hope deardear will online today though he said he wun be online...I miss u liao deardear. x33333333 (5.33 pm)

Yea..I
1) am too sticky
2) expect too much
3) likes to assume tings
4) depends on others for help

I wish I needn't b such a mafan person. I wish I din need so much attention. I wish I din need so much care and concern. I wish I can accomplish the task without bothering others. I wish I noe wad's going on in other peoples' minds. I wish I can stop expecting so much from others. So many wishes, which means I am a actually a failure in so many areas. Haha. Perhaps, I am not matured enuf. I dun dress maturedly. In fact I hate wearing formal clothes which makes mi look matured. Call mi childish or wadever u wana call. This is mi. I juz feel comfortable in my own style. Perhaps I dun tink maturedly. I dun handle tings maturedly. Starting to hate myself..Voicing out sometimes doesn't work. It may turn out negatively. I wish I neednt depend on you and I guess if not for U, I wouldnt b able to b able to accomplish wad I reali wish to complete. Because of wad I wish to accomplish, I need to trouble 3 people? I duno y I am getting all emo. I m juz not frien enuf ba. I duno wad U r tinking, wad is going on in ur mind and yea...I like to assume tings =] But would I noe if everyting is kept right deep in ur heart? Okay, Probably U juz wana keep it to urself. You dun see a need to let others noe. And yea..when people have problems, they let u noe. So u can be there to give them encouragement, support them but when U nid them, where r they? But have you ever told them wads in ur mind? People can sense, but they cannot read. For mi, I will juz tink that I am not a good frien enuf, a frien that you will confide in. And yea. Dun U tink the distance is getting bigger? I am feeling it..

Juz treat it as I am not in my right state of mind at this moment. Talking one whole chunk of rubbish and if I de zhui u in the process and I bet I said tings U dun wish to hear, I apologise. Frienship is a 2 sided stuff and of cuz I dun wish you to walk away from my life. I tink I better stop here. The more I talk, the more wrong stuff I may say.

Hoping tmr wil be a better day. For both you and mi.

The joy of having Dear by my side.

2008-05-11T12:26:00.000-07:00

Thought I am gonna miss dear for 2 nights in a row. Thought dear din miz mi at all. Thought there was another girl in his heart. Started to hu si ruan xiang and definately wasnt in the best of moods.

Finally dear onlined yesterday nite at 10.45pm. Din wana ask dear about that topic that was bothering mi cuz the last time I asked, dear "ran" away. So din ask until dear brought up the topic himself. Cleared everyting up =] I guess one weakness in mi is I wun se de angry wif dear for too long. Dear was definately sweet yesterday and I was glad to noe he did make some efforts for mi though there was no end product :X Then dear offlined after close to 2 hours of msn, to download audition and said if he were to online, would be in audi in 1 hour time. Hee..cuz I hinted dear that I very long bo audi wif him ler. =X So I went in audi n waited in case dear onlined. Waited until 2.30am but dear din on9. So I gues he wun be online-ing and went off to sleep. Wonder how is his audi patch ler? Wonder wad's he doing now? Cuz he hasn't onlined and I am oredi missing him...

As much as I would like to give him his own personal space, but I guess I am selfish juz like ani other ordinary people. Selfish towards his time, selfish towards his heart, selfish towards everyting and juz wana spend as much time as possible wif him AND with no one else occupying his heart. x.x

Woke up early today to finish reading up some parts of the notes. Haiz. SO much to read..read le oso forget..n there's still so much more. And I havent touched my business law. So damn sian.

N little lazybum got a fur trim yest! And daze bought him a ronaldo shirt..haha..F3 leh. I have grown so attached to lazybum that I muz play with him everyday. Everytime he sees mi, he will start to sa jiao and somemore very loud, because I alwiz cong him >< lolz. Then mum say I shouldnt so cong him like a little baby..but I cant help it! He's so adorable!! I tink my mum loves him too. Mouth hard but heart soft. Dun mean wad she saes de la. She everyday muz sit infront of little lazybum n read her stuff, personally supervise my sister cleaning the little fella and clearing his shit. She will prepare his food early in the morning..occasionally ask if the little fella is sleeping or awake. And stuff like this. I guess everyone is very attached to the little fella except for my father but I guess he sort of accepted him as well. =X

Where is my dear? my dear my dear? :D MIZ U WOR!

The onli world I wana b in..JS WORLD..A world of onli U & mi (:

SHOU SUAN!!!!!!!

2008-05-09T20:53:00.000-07:00

Yest dear was online for quite some time. Were chatting happily until afternoon when he started to get busy liao..then after that he went offline without telling mi. Duno isit cuz he angry wif mi or he juz joking...but I noe he had to prepare to go out too. But he din online after that..Dear..U saw wrongly leh...T.T u noe i CANT tahan not talking to u de mah...>< After dear left, tings start to go wrong. Supervisor smsed mi asking mi for the password that I changed for one of my client. I actually forgot the password. And even forgot whether I wrote down the password and where I wrote it. Damn panicky and she cant wait for mi to return the next day to settle it. She wants it NOW.=.=" Tried logging in the website and keyed in the password but failed. 3x wrong password and the account was locked. DOOMED is the word that kept flashing in my mind. Reali mei xin qing ler..keep tinking of how I am going to die the next day. No mood to do aniting liao. So went in audi and de-stress with Cayden, zhu and Qing mei. Supervisor din reply my smses until the 3rd sms. Haiz. She say the next day then settle.

Today was half day at work then in the afternoon go for archery! Came to work and started searching for the password. Finally found the password and gave it to her. But she haven settle the problem yet. So she din sae aniting. Phew. Safe for now..Tried to do up some cheques because I will be on study leave on Monday and Tuesday. Then 12.20pm assembled downstairs and took the bus assigned to us to Tampines Safra. There, we had buffet lunch till about 2pm. Then it's time for archery! >< Everyone was assigned to different teams. A,B,C and D teams. I was in B. My two teamates were in B as well. 1 team had about 18 people. We were given arm protector to tie around our left arm. Each was given a bow and 5 arrows. The bow is relatively heavy. And imagine holding out the bow left arm stretched out straight and aiming, using right arm to pull back the string to release the arrow. Takes up some strength and imagine one person has to do 5 hits per round and there were like 10 over rounds per person. x.x Towards the end, I was just too exhausted!! My arms were shivering and so damn tired! My arrows started missing as a result. lolz.

One of the big shots in our company, our director stood beside mi and shoot. I was supposed to aim at the 17th, and he aim at the 15th. In the end, he shot mine and I shot his. LOL..hard to aim leh. *F3* Then got team work and individual shots as well. We had our tea break then continued the rest of the day shooting again. Damn tiring. My arms are aching! Best marksman and best markswoman from each team compete, and then there comes the final marksman and markswoman. Haha. Of cuz I din get it. =X

Finally everyting ended at about 5+pm and we took the bus to dohby ghaut. There, I went shopping a while, before going home. Reached home and of cuz visit my little lazybum! Love him so much! Miss him..so played with him a while before having a bath. Haha..I dun care, I changed "Happy" to "Lazybum" cuz he is reali lazy la..slp n slp n slp. =X Dear not online de..tink he went out bah..Miss dear lehhh....=P

Tired liao..Stop blogging for today. I guess wun c dear online tonite ler...=[[ Miss U miss U!!

Juz posted a rather happi entry onli to feel saddened now. Hurt..Millions of broken pieces....

New addition!

2008-05-08T09:45:00.000-07:00

Finally had a chat wif dear yesterday! I tink dear muz be in quite a good mood yest =] Dear said he din wan to sleep, wanted to make sure I study..and he stayed up wif mi for the night! =X So of cuz I read my notes. Stayed up till 2.40am..dear wana sleep, said he will wake up at 5am. But I guess he din bah..Came online but din c deardear online.

Yesterday got a new addition to our family! A cute little Shih Tzu! 7 wks old~~

Nal MMS mi this picture before my sis bought the puppy home. Isn't he cute? =D

Its a male and Nal named it Happy. I din like the name though. Neither did Charchar. Protest! lol..On the whole its very guai..and so small so cute so adorable! Even someone like mi who is scared of puppies and dogs, dare to carry it! :X But yest nite it left us sleepless. Its juz like a little baby, nid to hong it, nid to pei it, nids attention.. =X Once the light is off and it realises, and no one is there to pei him, he will start barking..cao si ren le la!!!!!!! Cannot sleep sia! Let my 2 sisters go handle him, I continue my beauty sleep. heh. N yest this notti puppy came beside mi and shitted right beside mi leh. -.-" There I am reading my notes, and there he shitted -.-" Dear says I can be the shit indicator liao. !R$@%T$#^T%#

Hee, dear online le wor..=] But oO he looks busy..><" lovelovelove u dearrrrrrrrr

bad feeling..

2008-05-06T09:33:00.000-07:00

Haven been talking much to dear for the past few days. He is either busy or moodless..tells mi he will talk to mi later..but "later" never comes..offlines without a word and never comes back..

Thought alot on my way to work..in fact came to work with a heavy heart. So much is juz stuck in there, I feel I couldnt breathe. Cant help feeling I am going to lose everyting..soon...very soon....lose dear..lose everyting....lacking of confidence in everyting I do lately..all alone in a pitch black world..almost invisible..tired and struggling....slowly...I will juz start to camoflague wif the surroundings...

bzbz dae!!!!!!!!

2008-05-05T20:43:00.000-07:00

Todae was a busy busy dae at work...as busy as a little bee =x additions to the payroll..so got to ammend my reports =.= then generate remittances..but I love doing this payroll..Supervisor calls Singtel my baby! cuz thats my main portfolio =] Duno y but I juz enjoy doing Singtel payroll! =X Almost done with my Singtel payroll..tomorrow to try to do as much as possible for another client. This client I dun reali like doing at times especially when there are so many disbursements to do! Dun reali like their slow response either. And dun reali like keying in the accounts. But their payroll is relatively easy to do. =] So todae did a little ot cuz will be on leave on Wednesday and Thursdae..then muz reali jiayou study...haiz..then Fridae go work in morning, then afternoon go for archery outing. May seems to b passing by quickly!! T.T

Dear doesn't reali have ani mood these daes..bz wif his stuff n tings crop up. Wish I can cheer him up..but I guess dear's the sort who juz wana be left alone to tink tings through kind of person..the kind of emotionally independent kind of person..Wish he will cheer up soon..sorry dear..sometimes perhaps I din stand at ur side and tink and can get a bit too much..cuz some things I dun have ani idea about..please pardon mi if I do that. Sometimes I am frustrated too..love u dear..will be here anitime u nid mi yea? =]

No wonder din c Qing mei yesterdae..she went back to her hometown..but she is back todae! Juz received her sms saying she misses mi! lol...my favourite frien! We r juz so alike in terms of tinking..thats y we can get along so well!

dear online ler...stop blogging for now =X

Feeling Sian-ed and pek chek...

2008-05-04T16:49:00.000-07:00

The feeling is nice esp after wad U wish to sae to the other person, you have let it out and U see the effort put in by the frien u treasure. :) tx zhu for that little supportive words from u today. And tx Den for the invitation to enjoy audi wif both of U..

Woke up and read abit of my notes today. Still have muchmuchmuch more to go..and May has oredi started. I doubt I can finish studying but everytime I look at the notes..I feel sian-ed. I guess the papers are reali gonna b tough. My colleagues had attempted the papers I will b taking and they have not passed them yet. =\ Starting to lack of confidence oredi. I guess I have oredi lost half the battle. Keep telling myself to jiayou. Dun wana let myself down..dun wana let dear down..dun wana let zhu and den down..but...haiz..juz din have the motivation..

Archery company outing on 09th May. Not looking forward to it actually. Totally juz no mood to do aniting these days. Starting to feel pek chek..starting to feel like an angry person within...

Din c dear since I logged in today. Probably busy with his stuff again. And too busy to miss mi too...But i miss him..as usual..the pieces of my heart are calling out for him...n missing him loads. Dear I juz feel so stressed. I wish U r by my side..Juz feel reali down..Probably U r juz tired yesterday. I could sense that you feel sian-ed. But I am thankful that you still onlined..tx dear. I reali needed that little support esp from u. Wan so much to be the one who can make u smile everytime u r down. I wonder if I made ur life happier. Yest was reali kinda pek chek looking at my notes..my studying progress is damn slow. Feel sian-ed. Wanted to cheer U..but din noe wad to sae..cuz I feel down too..

Hope U r feeling better today dear. Hope ur day isn't that bad today. I miss U...

i miss u dear..lots.....

2008-05-03T21:17:00.000-07:00

How something or someone is valued, depends on their importance in ur heart..how much efforts u r willing to put into them.. how much pride u r willing to forgo and how much compromise you r willing to put in...A matter of acceptance and initiation. Sometimes U juz need to let go of that little pride and take abit of initiative. Juz like money doesn't drop from the sky. You got to work for it..Sometimes having to take initiative all the time can get very tiring. Juz like ani normal human being..juz the simple wish for that little bit of appreciation..that litle bit of love and concern..that little bit of encouragement..that little bit of support..esp from a loved one. I suppose, a line of supportive words isnt that much to ask for, isn't it?

I may appear hard hearted on the surface..but actually I am quite soft hearted inside. I do reflect on my actions and wonder at times..did I do something or sae something too harshly? And I worry the next min did I hurt that someone by my actions or words? I tend to be harsh then kinda regret it later..At times, its not like I do not know the other person is sad about something. I wana lend my shoulder to the person, and a listening ear. Waiting for the person to confide in me without mi having to ask. But many a times, people tend to hide away. Hide in their little corner until all their feelings get bottled up and they explode finally. I juz wana sae, I might not be a good cheerleader or a good counsellor or wadever u call that, but I can offer to listen. Running away is never a solution. Sit down and reflect wad went wrong and how to solve the problem. Rather than hiding at one corner, sobbing.

I love the sea. It gives mi a sense of calmness..a moment of peace..a place where I feel at ease, recalling my thoughts, my worries, my sadness and my happi moments..Hope this picture gives U a peace of mind for a moment.

Read ur blog..wanted to call u but I din...I guess I will juz leave u alone to tink tings through..but juz wan u to noe..sometimes, do pay attention to the people around u. People do care about ur existence..ur feelings. No one is born a loner. There is at least one person on Earth who will care about U. And be happi that you have more than one person who loves and cares for you. If you need that listening ear, I dun care to shout or to vent ur anger or wadsover, juz give mi a buzz yea..my number is alwiz there, for you to dial. :)

Yest my dear was online for a very short while, say about 10 min? That 10 min was short but the 10 min was sweet, knowing how impt i m to dear. He actually rushed home after his appointment to online and talk to mi, and that made mi smile. He hadn't even had his dinner then. Dear U made mi a happi ger =] But dear was tired and wanted to take a short nap and come back online later but as I expected, dear slept all the wae through :X Poor dear, muz have been too tired.

This morning, when I onlined, I was kinda shocked to c dear online oredi. It was onli about 9.50am. =X Glad to know that dear was waiting for mi to online before he goes out for his appointment. Felt so sweet.=] Dear said he will onli be gone for a few hours, and strangely, he hasn't onlined yet. 10am he had gone off to prepare to go out..and many hours have gone by and he still hasn't onlined. I guess its either he is still outside or he has oredi come home and sleeping. =\ Dear can slp for hours, juz as piggy as mi. =X Dear I am missing you oredi...reali missing u lots....

Wishing one day I can walk down the seaside, best accompanied wif fireworks...hand in hand with you by my side, on our naked feet.......

Hen happi leh! (:

2008-05-02T10:28:00.000-07:00

My dear was not in the mood yest when he onlined..he din wan to vent his frustrations on mi so he asked mi not to msn him. So we din talk..he din respond either =[ Then dear said he brb then he jiu offline le..Came back online onli at about 8pm. When he juz logged in, I was about to msn him when I saw his msn nick, not allowing anione to msn him..Dear was clearly still in a bad mood..Wanted so much to msn him..=\din talk to him whole day ler..So din msn him..I was feeling down too..then sud my dear offlined ler..without a word. Then I was upset and put on my msn title " Not a single word. Can't you stay online and pei mi?" Suddenly dear onlined again and said he will pei mi =X Immediately got mood le sia. (:

Dear oso seemed like less moody ler..or probably he din wan to show it out to mi. Finally can talk to dear! The feeling was super great. =D Had fun chatting wif him. Was reading my notes powered wif his sweet dosages~~ Contented to the max =D I asked dear if he will be staying up till early hours and he asked mi y. I told him I felt like staying up and he replied he will stay up with mi! :x I was reali happi. Probably to people, I am easily contented but to mi, his little actions mean alot and they could make mi happi =] Then slowly dear started to do his stuff..and we din reali talk again.

I asked dear if he was feeling tired. If tired muz tell mi o~ But dear said he is tired but he is doing other stuff, other than reading. At about 2.40am, dear said he afk a while. But haha..dear yi afk jiu bo come back! 1 hour+ has gone by and dear is still afk! Then I knew dear muz have fallen aslp. Muz have afk to rest ba..ended up sleeping =X Silly dear, wan slp bo tell mi :D 1st time i asked him to pei mi till early early n 1st time he fell aslp while still online =X hee..but the gan jue quite tian =]

Dear slept all the wae and his msn was on all the wae..cuz when I woke, I realised he was still online and away. F3. Dear dear has a busy day today again. Jiayou deardear! Love u lots o!

Hee..came work happihappi today! Full of dosages n felt loved!~ Tonite hopefully dear will online again! (:

Missing my sweet dear ler..=X JS Loves!~~

Silence..Sensitivity..

2008-05-01T13:02:00.000-07:00

Sensitivity..where is it?
Motivation..where is it?
Happiness..where is it?
Frienship..where is it?
Love..where is it?
Mood..where is it?
Where is everyting?

Left wif juz silence and insensitivity. Guess when ppl r happi in their own little corner..they r juz so selfish n insensitive to others' needs. They dun bother. They dun care. U r juz left there to survive it on ur own..wif no support..no encouragement. Disappointment.

Finalli see dear online..reali missed him so..n m still missing. The silence is killing..The ignorance is killing...Foul mood he is in. Haven been talking to him since he logged in. All the wae silence n more silence..Helplessness..I rather he vents his anger on mi..pour out his frustrations..at least probably he will feel better letting loose his emotions rather than bottling it all up. But not a word.

Totally moodless and motivationless. Totally uneeded. I guess one day when I juz disappear..no one will bother. No one will miss mi..probably no one even realises..

2008-04-29T13:48:00.000-07:00

Dear was busy the whole day yesterday. He came online at about 7+pm but I duno was it mi or he was juz not in a good mood, and he juz offlined within 5 min and never came back. Everytime he does this, my mood gets affected. Juz din feel like doing aniting. Juz feel frustrated, and esp when I duno wad I did wrong to upset him. Didnt manage to meet him at 4.30am, dear told mi he did not have ani motivation to continue reading as I was not online, so he went to sleep instead. All I can sae is sorry and I din mean it. I juz accidentally overshot the timing. Felt guilty, useless everytime this happens, keep blaming myself for not keeping to the appointment and worrying I disappointed dear, upsetted him..The last ting I wan is to make him upset. So was feeling very down after he left and I asked zhu to pei mi in audi as I wanted to vent my anger and frustrations by playing fast songs. Then Cayden joined us shortly too. Diverted my attention, listened to his story telling, their chats and felt slightly happier. Probably had been stressed wif reading my notes and dear's moods.

Read an article yesterday about Melody, the local star and Randall Tan getting engaged. They had fallen in love accidentally. Randall had been fighting for his life in hospital and Melody had nursed him during that period of time. Quite a touching and interesting story. About the love story Cayden shared, it was touching too. Love is indeed blind. Sometimes blind till we can get so foolish without ourselves realising it. The tings we do for love. The faults we accept of the person we love. Love is juz such a great and wonderful ting, and many a times, much compromise and sacrifice as well.

There was another article on two boys who have been good friens for quite long, and are ardent fans of Beckham. They went to watch a match and held up signs cheering Beckham and trying to lure Beckham over to their sides. Reali caught Beckham's attention and so Beckham walked over. Pointed to one of the boys and handed over his sweaty jersey. Both boys tried to get their hands on the jersey. This now ends up as a court case. A case of who the jersey belongs to? A case of who Beckham pointed his finger at to be the owner of the jersey? Thought it sounded ridiculous. This onli shows how "strong" their frienship were. And to fight over such stuff and ruining their frienship, I tink its silly. -.-"

My manager, and 2 other managers have forwarded us an email, saying that they will treat us at SWENSENS on 15 May08 for lunch! Gonna treat all their team members, thanking for the efforts put for the busy IR8A period. So sweet of them! Kinda looking forward to it, as I hardly go to Swensens and in fact the last time I went, was quite long ago oredi!

Feeling stressed and tired..

Overshot 4.30am! Argghh! T__T

2008-04-28T09:51:00.000-07:00

Dear onlined at about 6.10 pm yest and gang hao I juz finished eating my dinner. Dear was busy as usual, reading his stuff again..So he read his, n I read mine. Both feeling so sian luh..haiz..n the lecture note i m reading has 42 pages..n i m still stuck at it..somemore i m juz reading & writing down some notes..kinda give up reading the textbook.

Then dear went offline to bathe at 9.45pm..yi offline jiu offline until 12am..I had gone in audi to find Qing mei a while..Missed her! Then lazy to play ler, juz nice dear online ler :)

Noticed zhu & Cayden's nicks. Something was wrong. So jiu msn-ed piggie..but she wasn't in a good state. "Love n cherish urself"....hope both r feeling ok now.

Dear wasn't in the best of moods oso. He was fed up about some matters. But managed to cheer up after some time. :) Then he was busy busy busy again..n feeling sian too...I was sian too..sian of reading =\

Many a times, we humans tend to get frustrated at stuff..tings that make us upset be it small or big..and tend to want to vent our anger somewhere somehow. Different people let loose of emotions differently. In a spur of anger and doing tings that will hurt ourself or make ourself more miserable onli to regret it later or luff at our own folly. We juz dun realise how silly it is. Juz like how I gorge myself wif endless food or spending money like water juz to fa xie..in the end juz end up xintong over the money spent or feeling unwell due to overeating. haa..huo gai zi zuo zi shou, onli to bear the after effects. I guess that's human's wae of making themself feel better, a thinking that no one cares so might as well juz hurt themselves. Aniwae, die le no one cares too. Juz an insignificant dot on Earth. Cuz I do feel that wae too when I m upset or angry. But I guess at the end of the day, if even u urself cant love urself..no one else can..a mentality that's hard to overcome bah...everyone needs some form of love, esp the support and love and care coming from their most treasured one...duno wad i talking ler..read until sotsot ler..=\

And thanks Cayden for the sweet msn msg before he offlined and I din had enuf time to reply..I guess I m easily contented bah. Dear asked mi if I can pei him and of cuz I agreed. I will b more than happi to b there for him..even though it's like watching him silently..hope to give him support in a wae =] At about 2.20am I asked dear he's gonna read his stuff until wad time..then he said throughout the nite. Asked mi to go slp if i m tired. But I din wan to. Then dear scared I tired bah..sae he go offline first..4.30 am then back. Wan mi get some slp at least..then wake up pei him if I can..then he jiu off9 le..=[

I off my lappy and set my alarm at 4.25am..planning to get up, pei dear and continue reading my notes. In the end..i duno wad happened..din hear my alarm or pressed off my alarm and continued slping, or my alarm din ring or wad..I duno ...zhong zhi I slept through 4.30am =.= End up din pei dear..din read my stuff..Sian diao. By the time I worke..6am le..and dear wasn't online. Muz have disappointed dear. Haiz..I reali like a pig nowadaes. Dear will be busy the whole day today. N sure very tired..Hope he has enuf energy to go through todae..Jiayou dear!

Today on leave..sianz..muz force myself to read through! Wish so much to have dear's determination. Wish so much to have at least 70% of his cao ren and multi tasking ability!

Enuf of blogging for now..dosages r depleting...back to studies soon..Wish I can burn them all!

Rollercoaster moods xx==hate this feelings

2008-04-27T10:41:00.000-07:00

Friday night dear was online for about 5 min. Then told mi he nid to go out ler and will b back later in about half an hour. I was happi even for that 5 min..knowing dear had missed mi..So waited for dear..he din come online until 11.50pm..Chat 5 min onli and dear said he was very tired and wans to slp ler. He hadn't been slping well for weeks. But these few short moments are enuf to let mi sleep sweet.

Yesterdae was juz a terrible dae. Woke up and tried to read through my notes in the late morning. Afternoon about 2+pm dear came online. At first we were chatting happily until he had to put that msn title.

the sequences of his msn titles yesterdae:

Suddenly everyting changed..he started to ignore mi..even asking zhu to pass mi messages? when it's like i din do aniting wrong? I was affected by his mood. din wan to do aniting..seeing him in such a state..treating mi so coldly..my heart juz pains..indescribable heartache. Din talk since then. For hours. except for occassional short cold replies from him. Haiz. One word reply? F3 Emotion reply? Oo reply? Sianz. Juz started gorging myself with food to fa xie. Duno wad had gone into mi..juz wana eat n eat n eat even though my stomach is screaming for mi to stop..Imagine 2 baos for breakfast, porridge for lunch, icecream, maggie mee, cheese rings, a few marshmallows, milo, dinner..thats wad i had for the whole dae. =\ juz felt like vomitting after that.

I was juz feeling so down, down and down. Then finalli at about 2+am dear seemed better abit. Told mi he was pek chek wif work. I was happi. At least I noe not cuz of mi ler. But oso sian to c him in such a lousy mood. After that bo reali talk again..he was busy busy n busy n pek chek n pek chek n pek chek! At about 5.30am I told dear I wana off the lappy ler..then he jiu "bb" and he off9-ed ler. Haiz..And he said today he wun online cuz he has no motivation to online? Sianz..I guess I am not enuf to motivate him..

Mood is reali lousy. Haiz..Wo miss ta. Wo xi wang ta kai xin..I oso miss Qing mei...

This blog is reali dead. Wif onli zhu and dear's access to this blog. At least now I can feel free to blog all my feelings down.......I juz feel so weak and down.......

Sian-ed & rotting..=\

2008-04-25T09:38:00.000-07:00

Practically rotting in the office now. Still waiting for client's payroll information to come in before I can start processing it. Sianz. So came in here to blog a while. Today both supervisor and teammate not around. Our team onli left me and manager report to work today. Duno wad to do now. Wad I m supposed to finish at the moment, is done.

Yesterday waited till quite late but din c dear online. Then I left my msn on and fell asleep. Duno y nowadaes I feel so tired. Came home jiu sleep then audi a while and sleep again..=\ Guess dear was online yesterday but did not msn mi, judging from is msn personal msg. I tink my msn auto set mi away cuz I did not touch my lappy for quite long..and I suppose dear noes that I had fallen asleep. Haiz. I miss my dosages alot..

The friendship balloon I had let go flew back yesterday again. He smsed mi and asked if I was not online? I was..but I had blocked him. So jiu unblocked him in msn. He oso noe I blocked him. lolz..Then he msned mi. Said he couldn't slp after he scolded mi that day..and somemore we were buddies for 1 yr+. Expected me to talk to him like noting happened, like last time..I felt I couldn't reali do it. I juz did not reali feel like talking to him yesterday, so my replies were short and cold. I guess I nid time to get over it bah..at the moment, I juz felt I can't help putting on my guard against him, still. He had initated to save this friendship..Wad's my next step?

Can't call zhu during lunch hours juz like last time ler. In fact, we din talk for quite long already, other than in audi or occassionally in msn. In audi, she oso blocks her pm. Haiz. Kinda feel we seem to be drifting apart.

Sian-ed. I miss dear. I miss zhu as well.

Somehow I muz force myself to read through abit of my notes today. Hope I will c dear tonite. I reali miss him so much..

2008-04-24T14:15:00.000-07:00

Dear came back online yesterday and continued reading his stuff. Dear reali has lots to read! F3. Was too tired to read aniting yesterday cuz went to work and lessons. Dear seemed to have a fun time bullying me yesterday. F3! Wad I said, he print screen and made it his dp! rawr! But dear was very sweet yesterday too. =D

Hee..stayed up wif dear until about 3+ am. Fell aslp in the end and dear noes.lolz.Dear noes my pattern liao. F3. Paiseh dear, while waiting for you to reply, I closed my eyes and rested, ended up sleeping. But I woke up in time to read your msn msges and lai bu ji reply u, then u offline le ><" But u did not forget to be sweet and give me my dosage for today! Love you dear! So today powered wif ur dosage, I came to work a happi girl. =X

Want to take my own sweet time to do my work. Arbo I finish liao, then noting to do..duno how to charge my time. =\

---u r all that i need---
---u r the air that helps mi breathe---
Dear..noting beats having u by my side. x33 u loads! muackk muackk!

Mood swing??

2008-04-23T23:09:00.000-07:00

Duno y..juz feel kinda down but duno y. Feel tired.. feel sad but duno y. YYYY? Wad's happening to mi? T________T

Tinking of dear going back to taiwan very soon makes mi sian..he go back probably wun online, or wun online often. Haiz. And he juz login-ed msn but bu jian again. 7 minutes has gone by and he is still not back...I m missing him..

Appreciate dear for making the efforts to come online to pei mi even though he is bz..juz like yest..He was online..but we din reali talk..cuz he was super bz..I was very tired too. Noting could get in my head..

Supervisor will be going for a long medical leave..Hope everyting goes on smoothly during her absence.

Waiting for dear and missing him.

i m a happy girl :)

2008-04-21T11:04:00.000-07:00

I am a happy girl cuz nowadaes dear is on9 to accompany mi and we often stay on9 till very early the next day =X Yesterday was the best. Broke my sleeping record time and wad's best about it, is cuz I broke it wif dear around =D

Dear came online yesterdae at about 5+pm and told mi he needed to go out soon and came online awhile to c mi. Dear is so sweet la! hee..then we jiu msn chat and I was reading my notes and him reading his as well =] Then 7.20pm ler..deardear had to get ready to go out liao, but said he will b back probably before 10pm. So after deardear left, I went in audi awhile. Nal had strangely smsed mi to go in audi wif him n my mei. Juz went in and c wad that 2 faced guy is up to, but I din talk to him at all. Kinda hate him.After a while, mei dun wan audi ler. So went back msn. And nal unblocked mi in msn. Weird guy. But for the moment I dun tink this frienship is worth saving.

Qing mei came on9 in msn, so tried to read my notes while chatting wif her.Wait till 11.40pm le..but dear not on9 yet x.x Then was about to go in audi wif mei ler when dear finally on9 liao! =X Told mi he wanted to go bathe and ask mi if I could wait for him. Of cuz can de mah. hee..so he went offline to bathe and I went audi wif mei, zhu and cayden. =D Then deardear on9 again at about 12.30am bah =X So I went back msn and my mei went back cabaling. hee..

Cannot read my notes cuz mei dun allow mi to on the light =[ she wanna slp..Watched the hongkong sunrise and sunset wif dear..haha..dear so notti, keep scaring mi wif the gaga..rawr..then deardear read his stuff and chatted wif mi. My stupid connection dc-ed mi twice -.-" dun wana go down n on off the connection, so used my hp to online. hee..we chatted until 6.20 am. power huh? =D Love yesterdae so much. I had dear all to myself =X Din noe that mi being online helped dear finish his work faster =P Dear ur turn to help mi =X Poor dear had to get up at 7am. I din tink he even managed to take a nap. Muz b like a walking zombie now =\ Dar is bz todae. Sure very tired de, todae he super packed wif meetings. Come back that time I think he most probably sure go oror ler..Sure miss him alot.

Haiz. Then dear said he going back taiwan this week, and when he's back there, he wun on9 cuz he will b busy. I hear ler sian diao. I need u leh...cannot dun on9 T____T

Juz woke up not long ago. Have to study soon. Dear ask mi to study hard today and dun go in audi =\ and of cuz drink lots of water. I miss my sweet deardear ler. And the telepathy between us is getting stronger! =D I love him love him!

Okie. Off for my breakfast and studying!

*If onli time can freeze. If onli the world is left wif onli both of us. Wad a wonderful world it will be* =X JS Loves~

2008-04-20T20:59:00.000-07:00
Din noe I had known a 2 faced person and treated him as my buddy for 1 yr +, but now I noe =] That entry that I wrote specially to dedicate to that person, I wrote it too early onli to regret the very next day. haha..a 2 faced buddy is a last ting I nid and I am glad I let go of that friendship balloon. I dun nid a hypocrite who curses others. I dun nid a frien who puts on his mask everyday. I dun wan to be so tired having to guard myself all the time, wondering when that person is true.

My sister unfortunately, is still under his spell. Wish so much to get her out of it. Dun wana aniting to happen to her. Hope she realises her folly soon.

All I can sae is I am enjoying my present now. My life has been made so much happier and better cuz of his presence. I love your efforts dear. I love dear's everyting more and more each day. I feel happi wif you around..love your understanding. love your care. love you setting aside some time for mi. love you pei-ing mi even though u r bz. love your charms. love your sweetness. love your support. love your encouragement. love your naggings. Simply juz love everyting about u :)

Thank you dear for pei-ing mi yesterday and today too. And thanks for being there by my side. I love u being in a chapter in my book of life and wans you to b in every chapters in my book of life =X

Looking forward to seeing you on9 again later dear. And dun love your judge judy so much..love mi more! F3 hee..

Back to trying to study. =\ jiayou mi! jiayou dear!

Love simply everyting about dear :)

2008-04-19T11:18:00.000-07:00

Went out to watch The Forbidden Kingdom yesterday. Jackie chan act de. English kungfu show wif sun wukong =] nice show! n funni too! (: thumbs up! =X Kinda had a feeling dear was on9 so after the show ended I login-ed and dear reali was on9! =D Reali miss him so much luh!

Then jiu hp msn wif him until I reached home =P Seeing him juz makes my dae so much better :]

Reached home and on my lappy and continued msning wif dear ^^ Was feeling troubled over something and confided in zhu..zhu told mi to think abt those closest to mi..I asked dear for his opinion as well..and in the end I made up my mind - to tell my mei..thanks dear for hearing mi out and being there for mi. Thanks zhu too..Talked wif dear until 3:40 am then dear wana slp liao..the heavy rain is making him slpy! Dear said he set his alarm at 7am.So i set my alarm at 6.50 =\ but i overslept still, by 1 hour. Faster on9 but dear not on9..duno if dear got on9 juz now or he forget ler...

Din have a chance to tell my mei yest..then when she woke n getting rdy to bathe n go out of the house..I wanted to tell her but duno how to start. Juz took out my hp and showed her wad nal smsed. She was very leng jing though..her head got lower n lower. After reading, she dumped her clothes one corner and went into the toilet. No sound, in the toilet for 1 hour +..Saw a drop of water on my bed..noe she went in the toilet n cried. So juz left her alone to tink tings through..Then took her clothes n bathed. She read the smses again n again..i showed her the msn conversations as well, hoping she will noe where these is all going to.They smsed about this matter. I noe nal is good wif words, and my sis is juz like mi..i dun believe she wil she de put down this relationship. Said all i can ler..after that she still can sing? Then my 2nd sis ask mi if daze is ok..cuz she seem to b alrite even when she's supposedly to b emo-ing? =.= Daze saes she will c how 1st..but seeing how tings r now..she's making mi worried =.= but felt lighter too..seem like i put down that heavy stone in my heart ler.

My new blog link now onli dear n zhu noes :) n i m glad dear likes my blog and gave mi a thumbs up! =p

Dear..juz wana sae..love u! n love u more n more each dae..Now de u simply rox =X N I M MISSING U LERRRR..Hope to c u on9 later..

Have to get down to studying soon! Pass mi ur multi tasking skills one dae! =D MUACK

Frustrated.

2008-04-18T14:14:00.000-07:00

Haiz..dear hasn't been online for 2 nights oredi. I tink today dear oso wun be online..I miss him.....

Terrible night yesterday I had.. Heard 2 sides of story. Getting fed up. One, a close to 5 year frien. Another, a 1 yr+ frien. TRUST..who? Or none? lolz. Perhaps I am naive, as U all will think I am. Probably I am reali naive. I am the sort who gives my friens my trust, a WANT to trust them that none of them will be telling mi lies. A WANT to trust and no guard needed to be put infront of mi against that person. Y do YOU need to keep making mi put on my guard time and time again?

Nearly wanted to let go of that friendship balloon yesterday..Very disappointed with the tings he said. Then told mi he purposely said that, knowing that the person who asked will tell mi about it, and he is giving that person a chance? lol? And to my frien who asked, U can ask mi if U wana noe..but I oso duno y U wana noe since its our personal matter..and I am NOT interested in him. Fullstop.

Duno wad to sae ler..haiz..feeling down and upset. Dear..I need your dosages...

2008-04-17T14:00:00.000-07:00

Yest my stupid email had problem. Couldn't login msn be it hp, lappy or computer the whole day yest. Duno wad happened -.- zhi hao use a spare backup email that was created sometime last year and not used. lolz. But anihow dear wasn't on9 yest =[ Muz have been busy.

Hmm..To my very very good buddy, U noe who u r bah..today I shall dedicate this post to u ok? lolz..Sometimes I dun write here, doesn't mean U r not remembered, yea? Juz wana let u noe that u r appreciated, yea? Your concern will alwiz be remembered in my heart and mind =] Reali thankful for your almost everyday smses asking even simple questions like how my day is, etc etc. And yest playing my disliked mode and making it into an enjoyable one wif all ur encouragement and ur own style of mode =.= no one will play audi this wae. I guess onli us..ahha..crazy wae of playing, but had fun =]Although din mit u in real life before, but U r oredi considered one of my very close friens =]

Regarding the things you mentioned lately to mi, it hadn't come as a surprise to mi..cuz I remembered you mentioning it to mi sometime last year, kinda 1 year ago liao. But din noe and din expect U will bring it up again. Told you wad I tink too..so hope u dun let mi down yea? Since you had oredi chosen this road about one year back, you should have been prepared to continue walking down this road..so walk it well..tink carefully..dun fall and regret yea? And..I love her.. I noe u r stressed at work, heavy responsibility lies on ur shoulder in the near future. Take a deep breath, tink of happi stuff and release that heavy burden. At least it makes u slightly happier. :D I noe u have other stuff bothering u as well..I can lend u my listening ear if u dun mind =] We r buddies! :)

Telling you to try to be happier, but haha..I m kinda abit low mood today. Cuz SHE attituded again. Hate HER black face. Even hao xin offer to help her buy lunch, she dun even look up at u and answer u. Her face still buried in her work + black face pisses mi off. /x3 blek

Kinda finish my work for the moment ler..haiz..rotting time again. Sian diao..

*****************************************************************
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right. (Ahem..that's mi! )
Forget about the ones who don't. (Confirm not me =D)

Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back. Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we've let them fly away. Sometimes we are so caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we forget what's right and wrong. Sometimes we just don't realize what real friendship means until it is too late. I don't want to let that happen so I'm gonna tie you to my heart so I never lose you. :)

*******************************************************************

Feeling Sweet :)

2008-04-16T13:41:00.000-07:00

Dear will be very bz this week, told mi he wun b on9 for the rest of the week, but oso promised to try to on9 when he can. Monday he was on9 for a short while. Msned wif him on the bus journey home from class..~ 2 happi souls~ =D But msn had a problem when I used my lappy and dear tot I off9 when I was still on9..then he jiu off9 le =[ Msn keeps having this problem..the other day it happened to mi..now..happened to dear =\ *sobs*

Then yest weather was terrible la..rain until so heavy..the roads were flooded and practically walking in the deep water. Current quite strong and nearly washed my shoes away =.=" Hate that weather sia..din reali had a good day yesterday until deardear came on9 in the nite and tings start to get better! Still bz..reading his stuff..Was trying to read my notes before dear came on9..but felt very tired and sleepy. Din reali talk to dear at first cuz he was damn busy. Dear wanted to go off9 to do his stuff since he oso cant reali chat wif mi and din wana waste my time..I told him I was oso doing my work and asked him if he can pei mi to stay on9..and he agreed! =D Then we used msn personal nicks to communicate..*F3* =X but I love his msn nicks! So sweet and my boost of dosage x3333 Dear is my motivation. Wonder how he can stay put and read his materials and do his work until so early the next day. I wish I have the determination and motivation like him too! Hopefully dear can pei mi as much as possible, then at least I will be "pushed" to study! :) Love dear..love the efforts that I seem to be seeing lately!! N dun sae I am crazy but I love his naggings! =X hee..very very happi that tings r going well between both of us. Feels great! =] Dear went off to rest at close to 12am. He was too tired. Said he will be back at 1 am but he din. I guess he was too tired and slept all the wae..

Awww...later have lessons again...hopefully dear will on9 later to pei mi..*prays* ^^v MISS U MY BAOBEI! :)

Fed up larrr!!!

2008-04-15T12:42:00.000-07:00

Fed up and pissed off at work! I hate people wif attitudes. I hate her moods! I noe this is a way of life at work, but sometimes the feeling juz sux. Asking questions without a reply, arbo is a neither here nor there answer or a pissed off reply. Halo..we r here to learn and not to see ur attitude? Getting pissed over the wae she behaves to her close colleague friens and the wae she talks to us. Is totally different =.= I am boiling! grr..#@%T#^#Y%RTEFGREY#%^#$^$ Sometimes at this point in time, I juz wish i could do certain tings which can onli be done in my dreams..FED UP FED UP FED UP!!!!!

LAZYBONES! >,<

2008-04-14T12:38:00.000-07:00

A short entry before I go off to buy my lunch.

Reali felt lazy after spending four days lazying at home. Taking my own sweet time to do my work. x.x

Yest night talked wif dear on msn, then when i brb, dear jiu bu jian le..then i went audi, luckily Qing dc then I realised dear is on9 in msn =.=" he purposely bo msn mi sia..lolz..he was bz wif his stuff so response wasnt that fast. After that, as usual, chased mi to sleep, and as usual, I refused. lolz. Stayed on9 till about 4am wif him. Though din reali talked, but I felt happi pei-ing him silently. Aniwae I wasnt tired too as I slept alot yesterday. Reali like a pig yest. =.=" Love the times spent wif him the most. Have the kinda xinfu de gan jue, especially lately. =]

Wun b able to c dear for many days...cuz he's a bz man..F3..T___T hopefully he will try to on9 =[

Missing him liao leh..F3!

Its raining outside..zzz...no china square animore = no shelter to get lunch..sian 1/2 ..

Thankful for his presence =]

2008-04-13T19:08:00.000-07:00

Duno y..juz dun feel like doing aniting today...affected by dear's earlier mood and less than 5 sentences of words wif him, feeling lazy, felt sry for bothering ppl wif my problems and making someone seem sian-ed in the process..and doesnt help too wif someone who keeps msning mi and pissing mi off..

Juz when everyting seems down..dear on9-ed ler!! And I start to brighten up..I guess he's the onli one who can make mi cheer up immediately. It feels great wif him around and I m happi he agreed to pei mi on9. x33 u dear! glad to c him in a better mood ler :)

hmm..now seems like in a better mood ler =X Hope i can survive tomorrow!

Hao Xinfu de gan jue =X

2008-04-12T13:01:00.000-07:00

Was playing wif zhu and Cayden in audi when deardear msn-ed mi..thats wad i like about audi..haha..can play audi and hear ur msn sound at the same time =X

Then wo jiu go msn and came back audi to pass Cayden msgs from dear =] haha..dear seem to b in a good mood yesterdae..super ultra sweet!! xD I was asking dar if have ani games that we can play together, then dear tot i sounded sian..then he went to search for games..haha...and we play together =X

I guess the one i enjoyed most was the lamest game..circus de..lolz..trial and error answer to the questions asked. If wrg, muz start all over again and talk to that stupid blue clown..lolz..then we play until wan vomit blood.haha..but had fun trial and error-ing wif dear and seeing his funni response.. =X

haha..had fun playing wif dear until 5.15 am yest..then dear wanted to slp till 5.00 pm today but he now on9 liao =D happi!~ kinda overdosed =D the best night ever..po my ji lu..=P i enjoyed myself alot yesterday and hope dear enjoyed himself too =] Wishing there r more nights like this..lolz x333 him lotsssss

Off for breakfast cum lunch..=X

Loving u dear! =]